Entries 1,440
Page 3 of 58
Wellness Update
My mood disorders are still missing in action. My triggers are not. My situations are not. Today I have to admit to myself that my habits are not. I still do anxiety and depressed things. Hung...
Blank Slate
My dream woke me up. Just in time because it was awful. In the scene, the theme was public nudity. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, just like in real life. I arranged to change in a separate ro...
Got To Act My Wage
About $120 later I finally submitted my request forms for a Criminal Record check, an Adult/Child Abuse Registry Check, and a Driver Abstract. This better be worth it. I’m not letting this sink ...
The More You Know
I developed heightened sensitivities to a lot of the things that I’ve quit over the years. I quit dairy and now it burns ulcers in my mouth if anything I eat comes into contact with it. I quit w...
Untwisted
Tongue-tied, brain-tied, heart-tied, maybe even tubes-tied. That’s the vibe. Sigh of relief is what I felt yesterday. There was no real sigh but I felt a huge shift—a calmness set throughout my ...
Onboarded
It’s not on paper but I am hired. I thought I was having an interview with the programs coordinator but it was an orientation. Just the two of us. It was not communicated to me that it was an ori...
Follow-up
I got a follow-up email from that non-profit. The HR thinks I would be a better fit for a different program. I am going to meet with that coordinator tomorrow. I can’t find the program on their w...
So Close Yet So Far
I got to lead a reset today. It fell in my lap but I know I did great. This is exactly what I like to do. I was given Connie and Helen. This is a heavy week for my team and my supervisor couldn’t...
Stress Test
My anxiety wants fuel. This week will be a stress test. I can tell. Though I can remind myself that they’re just thoughts, the situations are still real. I’m not gaslighting myself with toxic po...
Relax Max
I need to choose peace over anger. That is the exercise I’m supposed to work on. My roommate makes this challenging. As we know. I felt ready to throw hands today. Relax, take it easy. This is he...
For Better or for Worse
My mind dissociates from my body causing a functional freeze. This is when I will rot in my bed for most of the day. Every small task feels too overwhelming. I have not experienced this in almost...
V for Vendetta
V is for vagina in this part of the entry. A customer at work was hiding nothing with her blue tights. They were shorts? She was spilling out of them. Long black hair with extensions, botched bot...
Meday
I broke the ice with my roommate. I haven’t said a word to her in almost two weeks. My work bought me an individual vegan pizza, which I brought home for her as I don’t eat hybridized wheat. It f...
Villain Era? More Like Karen Era
I am frustrated with the dealership I purchased my car from. I made a $500 deposit to secure the vehicle. It is supposed to be deposited back but no action has been taken yet. I did reach out to ...
Coming Soon: Villain Era
Today was long and full of terrors. My night was as well. I dreamt about Gods and monsters. Candace Owens was there too. I don’t know what the dream was about but I kept waking up terrified. This...
Hello Darkness My Old Friend.
My therapist paralleled my previous entry. We discussed a lot of what I mentioned without me having to bring it up. I wanted to talk about my anger issues. My anxiety and depression have been abs...
V for Values
I went 38 years without knowing that I had ADHD. I’m very high-functioning. I never gave it any thought until I experienced the ADHD paralysis this year. It brought me back to how I was in high s...
Back To Reality
My reality check bounced. I say that in jest. I am tuning back into my fragile little world though. I’m feeling stressed about that job interview I had yesterday. It’s out of my hands now. I have...
He/Then
I was thrown off by my first interview question. First of all, what are your pronouns? I am not that confident about my interview today. I’ll have to wait up to two weeks to hear back from them....
Air
I feel like I have so much to say but I can’t get anything out. The getaway was nice but it is time to return to my so-called life. Lenstar’s neighbor was my math teacher at the Adult Education ...
Trippin'
It was a rough start to my trip on Friday. While I was loading my car, I managed to lock myself out of the building for 40 minutes. I dropped my keys at some point. I was rage-packing and got clu...
Thought Less
They are just thoughts. I have been telling myself. That is my current mantra. The missing piece that my therapist gave me. Today, my thoughts were racing so hard that it felt like a hole was bur...
Mood Poisoning
I went to bed angry and then I woke up angry. Then I went to work angry. It was a half day but I still left work angry. I don’t even know what I’m angry at. Maybe it’s andropause. Though my mood...
Water Fight
It’s been almost a week and I can’t get my stomach to act right. It’s like every bite I swallow feels like a sucker punch. After I quit smoking, I couldn’t handle smoke of any kind. After I quit ...
NRG
I just caught myself in avoidance mode. I feel like I have to rush to do all the little things so that I can tackle my crisis list after that. I’m going to stop dead in my tracks and just enjoy m...
Book Description
Things happening in my life currently