Entries 1,597
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Reflect
I’m putting the fun in executive dysfunction. They compare ADHD executive dysfunction (task paralysis) to someone trying to put their hand on a hot plate. The brain senses danger, so it hesitat...
Step by Step
He hurt my feelings. I stopped dreaming What my doctor did was not neutral or harmless. He didn’t diagnose me; he was out of line. I’m only human, so it hurt. I am trying to hold space for it s...
Rude Awakening
You’re on a twenty year olds journey. My family doctor prescribed me an existential crisis. When I told him what my plans were with school, he explained to me that I’m forty and that the path I...
Silver Linnings
Prosebox is the space I go to for venting. I suppose it is a positive thing that I have not been posting so much. I got to look at everything from a safe space over my winter break. My relatio...
Re-enchantment
Learning that I had ADHD removed the illusion of control by accident. Before Diagnosis: Every micro-interest felt like a portal. I followed impulses and discovered self. Cycles of hyperfocus fe...
Natty Fatty
For the first time in my life, I was told to lose weight. Ok, I could lose some fat. I switched gyms. I go to a wellness centre, and it offers one free health assessment a year. I have nothing...
Good Grief
I need to air out my grievances The Youth Mental Health Worker who was hired is working hard to change my program. We share funders, and they are sending her referrals that are all girls. Same ...
Reboot
External structure, clear expectations, social accountability, and defined beginning/end. This is what my anchors are made of. ADHD struggles with undefined time, open hours, no consequences, no...
OBCD
I feel like I am going through a growth spurt at 40! I’m clumsy, and I don’t know my own strength. I keep breaking things and getting hurt. I had to buy a new coat because I grew out of my last ...
Tick Toc
Did I miss self-reflection season? I haven’t written all year. Hell must have frozen over. My city did, at least. My holiday is finally over. It was two weeks of ADHD wait mode, I concluded. I ...
Gym Rat
I feel like I’m just crawling out of my grave. Last week, I was bedridden from inflammation. The gut is one thing, but when it hits my brain, I turn into lead. Once I stop moving, I feel unable ...
RXN
What happens to a vegan when they eat cheese? I didn’t really know either. I already have a hypersensitive gut. I haven’t had dairy in 9 years. Next year is my 10-year veganniversary. I don’t ca...
Animal
They compare ADHD executive dysfunction to putting your hand on a hotplate. Your brain will hesitate as it senses danger. It’s more like jumping out of a plane to skydive. The more you hesitate,...
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps
Yeah, it’s Christmas, but my brother just told me that he is buying a house in the fall and is going to make sure there is room for me because he wants me to move there. He wants family there, a...
Cut
I hurt myself today to see if I still feel. Sorry for the dramatic opening line, but it fits. I am overwhelmed by all the free time that I have during my two-week holiday. I have ADHD, so if ...
Sleeping At Last
My coordinator gave me a hug before we left work yesterday. Well, it’s been a year. He said to me. We start our holidays. I felt melancholy after that, on my drive through a storm to my friend’s...
Check In
I don’t know what to say, butI feel like I need to check in. First things first, I’ll give an update on my mother. She’s fine. Doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with her. Must have been anxi...
All Damn Time
Once upon a time, my mother waited a whole long weekend to tell us that she got in a bad car accident because she didn’t want to ruin our weekend. I was so pissed. Today, she didn’t plan on tel...
Have Yourself a Merry Little Crisis
It wasn’t the content in my life making me miserable; it was the context. I gave 13 years of my life to a job that I hated. I was quite comfortable there, but miserable. I was the Assistant Man...
For The Plot
I am so shook. They fired someone yesterday who was awesome, right before Christmas, too. Nothing about it makes sense, but it never does until they are replaced by someone who knows the Executi...
Manorexic
It’s a blast from the past, using my old OpenDiary name. I needed to come up with something quick. It’s what I call my dating disorder. I even dug up an ancient selfie from way back when. My M...
Deleted User
I reported some of the greatest hits (comments) that my Stan had written over the years, and Prosebox blocked her from the website. Some of my content can be polarising, and I’ve received my fai...
Thought Experiment
Oops… I did it again On the weekend, I noticed how my drama and upsets at work were not eating away at me. My week ended pretty decently. Then I got curious about whether I could change that. I...
Redrum
All work and no play I can name my patterns, my fears, my overwhelm, my ADHD dysregulation, my burnout, my dissociation under pressure, my avoidance loops, my spiritual coping mechanisms, and m...
NeverLand
When I say that my roommate is like a phantom to me, a spectre of the worst version of myself that haunts me, that demon has a name. Puer Aeternus - the eternal boy. Maybe I had some clarity d...
Book Description
Things happening in my life currently
