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And Faith Seem interwoven in a bedrock of meaning throughout my life. My mind races and tries to put 2 and 2 together; frantic to figure it out. Anxiety drives my mind to dwell, to ponder, to...

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I ve entered the strangest place I’ve been, so far. So funny how that’s always the case. Life only gets more strange. It gets more unexpected. It only goes in one direction. There’s never an...

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Be so. I am not the one who has it all together and “is okay” no matter what; I am receptive and open to receiving and giving support, challenges, love, judgements, and resources. I am not r...

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I don’t know what to do I get these instances of compelling urges to do things that don’t make sense. And, especially when I percieve that I’m making a decision that affects someone else, I he...

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9th of January and 2026 is a 1 year. There is a phenomenon which I dubbed the “911 rule”, in which events taking place between September 8th and 12th have a special resounding quality that car...

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Everything is happening for me and not to me. Even this. Even this. Even this feeling of frustration, humiliation and loneliness is for me. How can I perceive it as such? How can I meet it pro...

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It has just now this very moment, after all these years, occurred to me that I have never explained my handle. Well, it’s my cat. Her name is Miss Chiff. She is the lord floof of this domain. ...

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more attention to the divine celestial bodies. I keep having these profound experiences and later learn something is going on in the heavens at the moment I noticed a huge shift. But this wa...

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feels like family. I have hardly anything in the way of gifts. I feel like I’ve done enough throughout the year. My knack and talent for bringing transformational messages into people’s lives ...

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I write a lot

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today, that my Sweetness is just under the surface, that it’s there, just under a thin and thinning shell. Lol I’m reminded of my Shelly nickname. They knew. It’s not a coincidence. Nothing ...

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I can see how and why my life has played out in exactly the way that it has. The realization of Ruthlessness- of having no pity- has opened my eyes to seeing every one of my own choices without ...

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Almost moment by moment, of the seemingly impossible things that keep happening. They keep happening. I look down at my own body; my legs, my feet. They are planted firmly. I feel my muscles....

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The Toltecs say that there is a realm of pure affection which underlies this entire realm. I don’t know if any of that is true or not. But I do feel this affection. I feel it like a vague (but ...

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Enough to run around outside with my son for a few hours. We built a big sledding ramp with snow and sled down it a bunch. I also just ran around for no reason other than I felt like it. I hav...

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Insecurity that I can’t quite identify plagues my mind. The sense of realness of this place is starting to ebb. I remember how Black Beauty was redeemed. And I wonder if the so-called flyers ar...

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“ordinarily, dreamers are merely voyeurs. The way your journey turned out, you two got a ringside seat and lived the old sorcerers’ damnation. What happened to them was precisely what happened t...

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The county recorders office and Out of some background haze a woman greeted me at the counter. “What can I do for you today?” She asked. I gave her the quilt claim deed. She tried to read it...

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Sweeping the kitchen I become aware. Who is sweeping the kitchen? Who made the decision? Who is running this program? Because it is a program.... It is not something I consciously decided...

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“Lack of energy is what put a lid on your memory,” don Juan said. “When you have sufficient energy, your memory will work fine.” “Don Juan’s argument was that I had two choices. One was to foll...

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I woke up with a profound realization and memories that I haven’t had access to in 17 years. I woke up and remembered the moment that I wished away my ability to see energy and spirit. I wishe...

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Throughout my time in the Denial Years, I was still acting and living from the same place. Or, the same forces were acting on me and being transmitted through me, digested and transformed, into ...

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I felt astonished by her beauty. I stood in the cold for many minutes, oblivious to my hands and face becoming red and painful. This morning, she still graced us with her magical presence even...

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and Humility. Always in balance. Always dancing and throwing more shit for the other to catch! Lmao On the front of work and giving and striving to “evolve”- I have realized I’m stalling and ...

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Feelings of anxiety constrict my chest. “Now you’ve made a mess.” I cringe. I say that sometimes, when my kids make a mess. It’s a funny thing to say. We already know there’s a mess. Why say i...

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