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The Toltecs say that there is a realm of pure affection which underlies this entire realm. I don’t know if any of that is true or not. But I do feel this affection. I feel it like a vague (but ...

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Enough to run around outside with my son for a few hours. We built a big sledding ramp with snow and sled down it a bunch. I also just ran around for no reason other than I felt like it. I hav...

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Insecurity that I can’t quite identify plagues my mind. The sense of realness of this place is starting to ebb. I remember how Black Beauty was redeemed. And I wonder if the so-called flyers ar...

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“ordinarily, dreamers are merely voyeurs. The way your journey turned out, you two got a ringside seat and lived the old sorcerers’ damnation. What happened to them was precisely what happened t...

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The county recorders office and Out of some background haze a woman greeted me at the counter. “What can I do for you today?” She asked. I gave her the quilt claim deed. She tried to read it...

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Sweeping the kitchen I become aware. Who is sweeping the kitchen? Who made the decision? Who is running this program? Because it is a program.... It is not something I consciously decided...

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“Lack of energy is what put a lid on your memory,” don Juan said. “When you have sufficient energy, your memory will work fine.” “Don Juan’s argument was that I had two choices. One was to foll...

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I woke up with a profound realization and memories that I haven’t had access to in 17 years. I woke up and remembered the moment that I wished away my ability to see energy and spirit. I wishe...

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Throughout my time in the Denial Years, I was still acting and living from the same place. Or, the same forces were acting on me and being transmitted through me, digested and transformed, into ...

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I felt astonished by her beauty. I stood in the cold for many minutes, oblivious to my hands and face becoming red and painful. This morning, she still graced us with her magical presence even...

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and Humility. Always in balance. Always dancing and throwing more shit for the other to catch! Lmao On the front of work and giving and striving to “evolve”- I have realized I’m stalling and ...

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Feelings of anxiety constrict my chest. “Now you’ve made a mess.” I cringe. I say that sometimes, when my kids make a mess. It’s a funny thing to say. We already know there’s a mess. Why say i...

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I’ve been on a hunt, of late, to satisfy my interest in my self. Small self, if that wasn’t obvious. I am enneagram numbers 4 and 8. First, number 4: The Individualist. Fours are self-awar...

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It has been suggested to me that I am spiritually bypassing. I didn't know what that meant so I looked it up.  Spiritual bypassing refers to the tendency to use spiritual beliefs and practices...

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and gratitude fills my heart today. I recognize now like one looking back on a dream, that even my want to defend myself against my mother’s egoic ignorance is a wounded healer dynamic. Gratit...

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I’m an aquarian, doesn’t mean I’m an asshole. I’ve had a hellova time. Reading my chart, back in the day.... felt really depressing. My sun is square to my ascendent. I’ve got four (4) yes, FO...

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I suddenly feel so reminiscent of my mother’s comforting pass times. I got up before dawn, came down in the dark quiet and meditated undisturbed for as long as I liked. I got up and did a few ch...

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to the nature of this realm. To cognizining it’s nature and feeling mine; as they interact, and unfold in Beautiful synchronicity. I feel the presence of the Earth, and the Sky. Even as I type...

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As I began to review my list from just under a month ago, I feel struck by the first line. I didn’t read any further. I feel impressed upon, and awe. I don’t even remembered writing this, but t...

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That light shines brightest in the darkest hour. If the year were a day, that hour is now; Scorpio’s transparent moon, or as most call it, the new moon. Scorpio of course, being the sign of t...

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There is a certain amount of balance in the world, if we are perceptive enough to notice it. My shame, or, being one who is aware of feelings of shame, allows me to perceive the absolute belong...

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And other things I feel exhaustion. Weariness. I remember coach K responding to my question about fear of my father. “How do you know?” He asked me. How, indeed. I wish that I didn’t know....

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Our new little man Mister Floof gets his procedure today. We never vaccinate, and try to get into the natural vet, but they are booked for 6 months. Would appreciate any prayers that the vet do...

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As they do; in the silence. I have wondered about the difficult times. The times where I felt scared, angry, helpless and just wanted it to stop. I just wanted people to stop demanding that I ...

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Is Beautiful I can’t describe how breathtaking life has become. It is very mentally contradictory. I have t done much. I don’t deserve it. And yet, it is. P.S. I wonder if anyone can ...

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