sun in formless

it’s the moments that you almost have, that leave a stinging impression in your mind

The person I could have been
the life I should have been living

everything feels like nothing

I can’t believe I felt empty before when I had so much life in me.
I was scared and sad, but I was not empty.

I know now what it truly means.
a monotony of days that blend together, only interrupted by quick intervals of crying in the shower.

I know what it means now to not want to talk about things
I want to be able to solve my own problems
I don’t want other people to know how much of a mess I still am

I want something to look forward to
I want hope