5/24/05 in Victim of Society

Isn't it ironic how Craig was the one that got me over Matt and now Matt's the one that got me over Craig? Me and Matt have been so close lately hanging out everynight. We haven't kissed yet or anything but we are soo close with eachother. I could tell him anything and everything. The other night I went to his house and he gave me the best back massage and then I gave him one and afterwards I felt as though we were just intimate and like exploring eachothers bodies and it just felt beautiful. Last night at look out point we were drinking and he told me he has always liked me and I just got like butterflies in my stomach. I really hope he breaks up with Miki. I can tell he just isn't happy in the relationship with her. I told him the whole Craig story because Craig told everyone that I was the one who came on to him and wanted to fuck him and that pissed me off soo much so I had to tell Matt the truth and he was like "thats fucked up now im mad at him for getting ur hopes up like that" I really hope Matt isn't doing the same thing to me, I mean getting my hopes up and all thinking that maybe we have a chance together. I'm scared he's going to leave me or stay with Miki and I just don't want to lose him. He told me when we were on E he thought I was the most perfect girl and I just felt sooo frikin happy I love how he makes me feel. Then we went to Eddies and he put his arm around me and the look on Eddies face was so funny and he was like "aww u guys are so cute together." I think if he does break up with Miki I want him to be single for awhile not rush into a relationship with me or anything. Tonight we are supposed to hang out but first he's going to this bar with this stupid chick from supercuts who apparently likes him and keeps trying to hook up with him. I mean I have no right to be mad at him for going tonight with her but of course I'm jealous. Oh well.... :-/ Anyways, I just feel sooo lucky right now like everything in life completely turned around and I went from feeling like I was going to die to feeling like everything in the world is just fine. Well I'm gonna go find sumone to hang out with or something to do until Matt calls me which probably wont be till like 3 in the morning....