Appointment Recap in Self-Improvement, 2018

I told my therapist all about my recent entertainment from dating apps. Told her about meeting guy #1 and the original Sunday night drive-in movie plan but I bailed because my spidey senses said something was up with this dude that was just off. Told her about guy #2 and after MUCH stuttering explained that the original plan was to be each other’s rebound fuck buddy for a few months once he gets back from his current underway and before he moves to Virginia, but now he seems to be getting too attached.

I told her that I told him that he needs to be patient with me while I heal from my last significant other. He seems to get it when I told him that, but it also made his people-pleasing meter go up, like he’s now afraid to say anything wrong to me. I also told her that I told him that I’m in therapy still working on my own ish. He seemed supportive, but like I said, I’m really not going for an emotional connection since that was not the original plan.

Sigh.

I also told her that I’ve categorized the men in my are into 3 different categories: 1. Active Duty Navy 2. Ghetto 3. Young 20 year olds still living at home and looking for their 2nd mommy. She laughed and told me I need to broaden my search area.

I also told her I’m not having much luck with the females. She asked me why I thought that, and I told her that I dont think there are as many active on those apps, even though one of them is exclusively for lesbian dating only. I really don’t know the reason.

She told me that I was in way better spirits than I was a month ago. Which I knew I was. I told her I rejoined a book club I was pretty active in a few years ago and made a long list of hikes I want to do this summer. The entertainment from the dating apps is also there. I told her I’m mostly on them while I’m at work.

She took that opportunity to mention that maybe I could use that “work” time to look for other jobs, not swiping left/right on single people. She reminded me that if I could find a job I really enjoyed and put that on top of how much better I’m doing now that I’m out of that house, it would give me a really strong foundation for building myself up again. I told her I started vaguely looking around but then when I realized how much updating my resume needs, I got slightly overwhelmed/lazy and didn’t actually finish updating it. She told me I was doing it all wrong. That I need to find a job I’m really interested in and then worry about updating the resume. Because then it won’t feel like as much of a “chore”. It makes sense.

It was a really good appointment, and I am feeling much better these days. Not all the there, but way closer.