My tone maybe? in random rantings of self pity

My tone sucks. My tone of voice sucks. Why does my tone of voice never reflect what I’m saying? People tend to ask me all the time if I’m being serious. Are you serious? Or are you being sarcastic? And it’s always when I’m being perfectly serious. I say something, and the reaction generally is, “whatever,” or “what’s wrong with you?” or “what’s your problem.” Or whatever the person is thinking, like I can’t believe she just said that. Why doe nobody get me? I even sit there and practice what I am going to say. I say it over and over again in my head. Not always, but most of the time. And it’s not even that I’m worried about what people are going to think, it’s that I don’t like being accused of saying or doing, or implying things that I am definitely not saying, doing or implying. I hate false accusations. I can’t stand them. They are the thing that gets my blood boiling. False accusations bring out the worst in me. And sometimes I do defend myself, “that’s not what I was saying at all!” Yeah, that doesn’t work. People just assume what they want to assume about me and that’s it. There’s nothing that I can say about it. People around me assume the worst of me and there’s nothing that I can do. It sucks. Nobody wants an explanation. They know what they heard. I don’t get it.
This situation has brought out a side in that I did not know existed. Sometimes I just don’t care. Sometimes (and this is very very recent) lately, I’ve just been going with it. Yes. Just say that they were right. I’m that rotten and I totally mean whatever I said in the absolute worst way. I can’t take it any more. I’m like fuck it. And be rotten. Everyone thinks that that is what I am anyways. I work so hard to not come across as mean, or rude, and why? It gets me nowhere. It gets me misunderstood in the end anyways. So fuck it. People can believe what they want about me. If no one wants to get to know me enough to know how I meant something or didn’t, then to hell with it. I don’t care. I’m threw trying to be nice. I can’t make people understand me. My vocabulary is terrible. It is so freaking small, my son is better with wording than I am. AND HE’S SEVEN! I have the vocabulary of a 5 year old and my tone of voice. I don’t know. I don’t know if there’s a word for a tone of voice not echoing the feeling that I am feeling. I’m unreadable. I lack communication skills. My communication skills are terrible. My communication skills are the reason I have no friends.