I fell in love for the very first time in August of 2008. I had thought I knew what love was before, but it wasn't until I laid eyes on Justin that I knew what love-at-first-sight really meant. I was on vacation in Washington and my best friend Andrea and I had just arrived to our favorite motel. We saw a group of guys walk to their room and thought we would be clever and leave them a note to call us. Well sure enough one of them called us back and we ended up going to their room later on and having some beers. It wasn't until later that night that Justin walked through the door and my heart started racing. He was simply beautiful!
We ended up exchanging information and kept in touch online everyday when I went back to California. He told me he was joining the Navy and was going off to bootcamp the following February. Andrea and I wanted to see him again before he left for bootcamp so we arranged a trip in December to go back to Washington. Well it ended up being the biggest snow storm the state had seen in years and when we finally got to his small town on the Olympic Peninsula, the lady who owned the one motel they had in town told us the electricity would probably go out and we had to find a place to stay with a wooden stove to keep warm! Luckily Justin's grandparents had one so Andrea and I headed over there and met his entire family! We were snowed in for 3 days straight, but let me tell you, it was the best three days of my life! I really felt at home there and his family was a real family! Home-cooked dinners and everything. I knew then that I wanted to marry this guy, to live in this beautiful small town and to be a part of this wonderful family that accepted me with open arms.I will never forget when we went outside on the porch and it was just the two of us. The snow was falling gently on a rushing stream and he leaned over and asked me if he could kiss me. It was the best kiss I've ever had! When the time came to say our goodbyes it was really hard but I knew I'd see them all again.
Justin went off to bootcamp and we wrote each other letters. He went to A-School and then was stationed in Mississippi. We called each other all the time and couldn't wait to finally see each other again. A whole year went by before we saw each other again, but finally December came and Andrea and I rented a car and drove up to Seattle. It was my 22nd birthday and we all met in the same motel. It was the best birthday ever! The next day we drove to his small town and stayed at the motel there for a few nights and it was amazing. We went and visited his family again and they were so happy to see us! His grandma gave me a big hug and kiss and I felt so welcome. Again, we had to say our goodbyes and it was really hard. On Christmas we talked on the phone all night and he asked me to be his girlfriend and I of course said yes, but little did I know how hard a long distance relationship would be.
He was leaving on deployment in Spain and he begged me to come see him in Mississippi before he left. I was taking an intense six-week Biology course at my college, but I managed to squeeze in a short trip to MS during the weekend. Justin was a virgin and I knew he wanted to lose it to me. We finally had our chance alone for two nights in a motel. The sex wasn't that great, but I wasn't expecting it to be. It was very awkward and I felt bad because I couldn't make him finish and he was so excited saying how all his friends told him he would finish really fast. I felt very, very humiliated. When I left I gave him a big hug and kiss and told him I loved him and he said he loved me too. I thought everything was ok between us despite the awkward sex.
We talked on the phone every night until he left for deployment and things seemed fine. We even talked about moving in with each other when he got back...and even mentioned marriage a few times! The night came where he had to pack up everything and stayed on the phone until really late, not wanting to say goodbye, not knowing when we'd be able to talk again. He arrived in Spain and about a week went by, but nothing from him. I finally e-mailed him and he sent me a short reply. I tried really hard for weeks to keep the communication strong even though we only had the internet. He wasn't trying and I was getting scared. Finally, I just asked him what was going on and told him that I didn't feel like he was trying and it wasn't working out for me. Well it turns out, the day I left Mississippi, he went out and cheated on me. I felt so betrayed, so embarrassed, confused. I remember reading the e-mail at the library at school and my hands couldn't stop shaking. I'll never forget what he said, "Don't worry she was worse than you."
I have been trying ever since to at least stay friends with him, but nothing. It's like he doesn't even care about me and I have such a hard time believing that after everything we had been through, meeting his family, being snowed in with him, taking his virginity, talking on the phone every night. But I have tried everything to fix things, I even sent him a video message. I've finally come to terms with that fact that I lost my one true love. And even though everyone tells me, well he is a jerk get over him...deep down I know that it wasn't the true him. I know the true him, but maybe the Navy has just created a monster.
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