Maybe Forgetting to Take Off the Name Tag Isn't So Bad? in Everyday Ramblings

This is from our hike this morning when we came out of the woods into this neighborhood of well-maintained homes with handsome gardens. There was one corner of a front garden that was getting perfect light for the extravagance of tomatoes they had growing.

Last weekend when I got home from our morning hike I talked myself into going to the big Farmers Market even though it was late, about an hour before closing to see if I could get tomatoes. And I was lucky; there were four small boxes of heirloom tomatoes left, all different types and colors.

I still have a couple left and paired with fresh mozzarella and basil, such a lovely late summer treat.

Mrs. Sherlock didn’t notice I was wearing my Weight Watcher’s nametag until we’d been hiking and interacting with all sorts of folks on the trail for over two hours. Oh well… She’s done this hike recently with a Trails Club group but we didn’t have a map, just written directions that left out a critical turnoff. People were very friendly and helpful.

We think it may have been the nametag. :)

I’ve been doing this informal online course on Self-Acceptance and Self-Compassion and am getting some insight into ways I might begin to feel a bit better about this recent(ish) weight gain I have been struggling with.

There is no doubt that circumstances beyond my conscious control are at work. I had some corn tortillas this week and my weight shot right back up. I am going to experiment with wheat too and see if I need to add that to the prohibited list.

But in the meantime until I can get an appointment with an allergist I am going to cut myself some slack.

Today we were talking about the places I spend time in where I don’t feel self-conscious about my weight. Some days I agonize about what to wear to teach in and some days I don’t but once I step into the studio the only time I have any idea what I am wearing is if it feels constrictive when I move. How I look is just not in my mind.

It is the same thing when I am hiking, particularly with someone else. I am relaxed and happy and at ease in my body.

One of the things that would be helpful to understand is how the same me can feel so differently about her weight depending on where I am and what I am doing.

I love teaching and I love hiking. I also love writing and don’t feel self-conscious when I do this either.

Lesson #1. Do what you love! When you can.

Lesson #2. Remember that when I am feeling bad about my weight that silly as it may seem from the outside (I shared this with Marg in a note earlier) this is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life and is part of the shared human experience.

May I be kind to myself in this moment and may I give myself the compassion I need.

Lesson #3. Have Intention. The critical voice is in it’s own weird way trying to take care of me. I can be curious about the voice and why it feels like it needs to be so mean and then have the intention of hearing it and addressing it’s grievances.

We have all seen what an immature narcissistic aggrieved bully can do when he is elected to the most prestigious office in the land and it is not pretty. I don’t want to inflict that sort of behavior on anyone including myself!

Lesson #4. Be Kind

Lesson #5. Continue being kind and be curious as well.

Lesson #6. Turn it over, let it go, surrender it to whatever you perceive of as something greater than yourself.

Meanwhile my thoughts are with all the folks weathering the horrid rain and flooding in Texas.

Last updated August 26, 2017