rebel yell in poetry

  • June 30, 2017, 8:35 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

I am trying to find the good in everything
I am trying to find the good even in the very worst things
any sane person would agree that one of the worst things
at least symbolically, anyway
in the world is the Confederate Flag
someone hoisting up the symbol of
literally treating other human beings as property
the symbol of pretending one human being could be
worth more than another for something as arbitrary
as a collection of hazily defined ethnic features
I mean, that’s about one of the worst things
any human being has ever come up with
but we’re trying to find the good in everything, right?
even the worst things every created by human hands
like the fucking Confederate dick-shitting Flag
a dick literally shitting out a spaghetti strand of shit
would be less offensive than the Confederate Flag
but let’s brainstorm

okay, first
first good thing about the Confederate Flag?
if someone’s wearing a Confederate Flag or
waving a Confederate Flag or displaying a Confederate Flag
on their thirty thousand dollar truck when their own
children are going without shoes in the dusty street?
you know that’s an asshole
it’s a very easy shorthand
you don’t have to talk to them or
research their facebook or their education or job
Confederate Flag? Asshole
at best, the kind of asshole who has never fully
thought out the ramifications of flying a cultural identifier
that supports owning other human beings on account of melanin levels
a dumb fucking asshole
and that’s the BEST case scenario!
at BEST, a person with a Confederate Flag is the
dumbest of un-self-reflected assholes
and anything more than that,
they are a strictly speaking racist asshole
who doesn’t deserve a moment of your thought or time
that is just an asshole
you can write off anything they think or say or do
“this is a racist asshole” you can say
“it is my moral imperative to disregard this person entirely”
so it’s useful as a short-hand
that’s kind of a good thing

okay, two
okay, two two two
well, I mean, it’s a big old x isn’t it?
the Confederate stars and bars is a target essentially
so it will be very easy to attack this asshole
if they try to follow through on their idiocy and hate
it’s basically a crosshairs that a
worthless racist piece of dick-shit
which you will remember is shit spaghetti coming out of a dick
has stupidly painted on their own shirt
or their hat or their house or their car
so they’re doing the prep work for them
when we need to punch them in their stupid fucking trucker hat
the Confederate Flag
literally
makes them an easy target
so that’s fun, that’s useful
that’s kind of a good thing

let’s go for three
three?
even one of the most abhorrent stupid awful horrifying symbols
in human fucking history
that anyone with the smallest shred of dignity or empathy
would kill with fire on sight if the situation allowed it
let’s try to think of a third thing about it
that isn’t fucking terrible
hmmm
a third
a thiiiiiiiird

let’s try this
it’s a little meta but it probably scans
the only other good thing about the awful
terrible inhumane racist ignorant dick-shittery
that is the Confederate Flag is that this poem
this poem right here
helps you find people who are racists and assholes
even if they don’t have a Confederate dick-shit signifier
if they don’t have a Confederate target on their hat
if a person hears this and trying to argue it
some imaginary argument like
“it’s heritage not hate”
when if the heritage is slavery and
killing people to defend slavery and
Jim Crow laws and lynchings and God knows what else
then the heritage IS hate
then you know
even though they’re not wearing a Confederate flag
you know they’re a racist and an asshole
who is just living in denial and
they can be ignored
should be ignored
it is your moral imperative to ignore them entirely

so there we are
the only three good things about the fucking terrible Confederate flag
in every other way
fuck the Confederate flag and
the heritage of hate it stands for
fuck the Confederate flag
fuck the Confederate flag
fuck the Confederate flag


Narrator June 30, 2017

Four is that you can say to them "that's a colored flag you have"? Nah. That's probably reaching.

Asenath Waite June 30, 2017

Um... It's flammable, if you're ever outdoors in the winter and have nothing else to burn. And it would probably make a reasonably decent sarong, in an emergency, if you lost your swim trunks. And it would probably make a good tug rope, for a dog, if it were knotted up. Oh! And you could use it in place of bathroom tissue.

That's all I got.

Squidobarnez July 01, 2017

I grew up with a couple kids right here in CT who had confederate flags on their trucks. I always thought how ridiculous it was seeing as how we're nowhere near the southern U.S.

high-fives

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