Asenath Waite ⋅ 50
Asperger's, plus PTSD, or very possibly Borderline Personality disorder; with severe anxiety, and antisocial traits. Hell hath no fury like a long undiagnosed aspie whose been kicked around her entire life. I lack the subtlety or the brawn to be a serial killer, so I'll write about it instead, and see if that helps at all; though I doubt it very seriously.
"I know that light is not for me; yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men."
Entries 43
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My ongoing obsession. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
A friend in Denmark commented on a video clip I put on Facebook from VR Chat. He asked, “What’s it about?” He doesn’t play video games, and while his English is fabulous, he doesn’t understand so...
Current Mood in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Don’t poke the bear, people. Asperger’s, borderline, anxiety, and antisocial traits. It’s a confection wherein I have no chill. The patience burned up decades ago. At my core there is a cornere...
Holy freaking crap VR Chat. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Someone on r/Aspergers mentioned VR Chat, so I thought I’d take a look, and now I keep forgetting to eat. The compulsion to see everything is great in an MMO, with set geographic boundaries, but ...
Assorted quotidian tedium in The Big, Blue House, year one.
I bought an air fryer. I’m generally no good at cooking, so the hope is that it would allow me to cook my own food. Constantly asking Don to fry me some eggplant or catfish when he doesn’t eat th...
Why I haven't been here in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Well my computer is on the 3rd floor. And my bedroom is on the 2nd floor. And I haven’t been playing Guild Wars 2 in a couple weeks, which had been my primary purpose for coming up here. So yeah....
I'm not dead. (As of this writing, anyway.) in The Big, Blue House, year one.
And I have no explanation for my disappearance. I just get too wrapped up in one thing to do others, and everything takes me ages longer than it does “normal” people, and that’s that. I’ve been ...
Wherein I rant about Wal-Mart. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
I prefer to buy my cat food from Chewy, but Wal-Mart had/has one-day shipping, so while I wait for the Chewy order to get here from Florida, (Why is it in Florida? It’s not exactly a centralized ...
One of my favorite weird facts. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Because the comments were locked on the post I wanted to put it on, while I was typing it. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ When a corpse is embalmed, at least in the US, the blood is poured down the dr...
Wherein I post a screenshot from GW2 in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Because my main character is just too ridiculous at this point not to. Behold my sheer absurdity and weep, for you shall never be this ridiculous. Yes, I realize no one cares. But it did take s...
Another circumnavigation of the Sun. Part Two. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Don got a cake from the store. Chocolate with boston cream filling, and put little pre-made sugar letters and stars on it. He presented me with that, and two wrapped packages this morning. The pa...
I need opinions. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
On Yuletide gifts for The Male. I’m down to just the last of the “filler” presents, and if I get both of these, I’ll go over our pre-agreed monetary limit. So if you were a guy, would you rather ...
On migraines and The Male. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Migraines with nausea are the best thing ever. I recommend them to everyone. Particularly when they’re caused and accompanied by unexpected hormonal fluctuations that also cause arthritis-like sw...
Survey, because I ought to make an entry. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
But the Benadryl I’m on for a sinus infection makes thinking of a topic difficult. 1.) What were you doing at 11 last night? Watching “Shrouded Hand” on YouTube, and vegetating on antihistamines...
Taking a break from the daily maintenance cleaning. Don boiled chicken for the cats, I deboned it, and now I’m cleaning the stove. Tomorrow or the next day he’s patching the garage roof. He did ...
Relationships part two: Comparing mine to other people's in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Comparing my situation to other people I’ve known in decade + long relationships: The long and short of it is I’ve never personally seen one without some kind of animosity and/or uneven power dy...
Relationships, part one: Mine. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
I complain about Don a lot, but he’s not an objectively “bad” partner. He’s really rude to me an average of once a month, immediately followed by him cooking me meals and speaking to me softly fo...
Melancholy misty morning. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Every time he’s nice this long, I start to irrationally wonder if it’ll stay this way, but after two and a half decades, I know better, and it sucks. I could actually be “happy” if things were st...
I'm a terrible person. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
One of my favorite gaming streamers is French. Since it would sound xenophobic of me, I’ll say it here: It took me a while to figure out that he swears, because it sounds like “Feck dat sheet!”. ...
Wherein I rant about "fate". in The Big, Blue House, year one.
So my favorite niece posts a LOT of cheesy, quasi-inspirational memes. “Step by step you’ll get there”, “You get what you focus on, so focus on what you want”, “Just try to understand that everyt...
On vacuums, and the film "Glorious". in The Big, Blue House, year one.
So I’ve completely disassembled, and cleaned the Shark vacuum. I had to, because it was clogged with cat hair. Not from my cats, as one would expect, but from the previous owners’ cat(s). The car...
Assorted anxieties about The Male. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Let me state that I’ve referred to him as The Male since long before Prosebox. It’s not an insult, just the the best title I could come up with for someone I’ve lived with for decades without mar...
October movies list, and assorted mediocrity. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
The house is gaining 1.4 - 4% a month on Zillow. I realize Zillow can be wildly inaccurate, but it’s still fun to watch. We really got lucky with this place. The sparrows were late to eat today....
I had a long chat with my mentally unwell niece. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
It’s getting harder and harder to sympathize with her, or to see the little girl I knew in the eighties, when we were both kids, and neighbors. She says she’s quit her job, and moved in with her...
My favorite niece needs help. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
She has delusional bipolar, like her father, my half brother. I don’t know a lot about it, beyond the problems he has that our mother described to me, and what I saw of it when he came to visit w...
Trying a different tactic with Don. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
He’s wanted a small business since I met him. We’ve got a heat press, a Silhouette, boxes of tee shirts and vinyl, boxes of inventory, (incense, burners, Kreepsville purses and shirts, pagan deit...
