Frustrated Counsellor :( in Scottish Meanderings

Wow - I've just inadvertently dodged a bullet without planning to. I really do think there's someone up there looking after me sometimes.

When I started the Diploma course at the University last September, I set up an instalment plan to pay an initial payment of £1,500 for tuition fees and then the remaining £1,500 for the rest of that year in 3 instalments, payable in November, December and January. At the time, I mistakenly thought I'd set up a direct debit plan and that the payments would automatically come out of my account, not realising the plan was simply an agreement that I would pay those amounts on those dates and I still had to actually physically transfer the money.

Because I was having a hard time keeping on top of everything I had to do for the course, I would often forget to check my student e-mail and it was only when one of my friends mentioned in October that she'd had a reminder e-mail to pay fees that I remembered I hadn't looked at it for weeks so quickly checked it in TESCO car park one evening, just after I'd seen her and before I'd forget again! Sure enough there was an e-mail reminding me I still had to make a payment and it was only then I realised it hadn't been a direct debit plan I'd set up. Grateful for wonderful technology, I was able to make the initial payment via my phone there and then but didn't quite get as far as setting up reminders to make the further instalments so they never got paid.

Fast forward to the end of January when I became ill and had to pull out of the course and checking my student e-mail was the last thing on my mind, however as it was the only contact I had with the School about my deferment process, I got into the habit of opening up Outlook when I switched on the MAC. Sure enough - there were a couple of e-mails warning me that I was still due another £1500 for the second half of the year. I was then inexpressibly grateful that I hadn't set up a direct debit plan because that meant the University didn't have my bank account details so couldn't take any money out of my account even though it was due.

I was really worried they would chase me for the money but I had no intention of paying for something I wasn't even going to use seeing I had only had one week of tuition of that second half before I became ill so I sat tight and did nothing. The problem was that the date on the deferment form is the date they use to calculate the fees due but I had been trying to contact the Programme Director since the beginning of February to discuss my options and obtain the correct form to complete without success. It didn't help that the School changed Administrators around this time as their organisation was chaotic anyway without throwing that into the mix. In the end I contacted the new Administrator and she finally e-mailed me the form to fill in. But we were then at the end of March so that would have looked like I'd had 3 months of tuition.

However because I was once a SuperSec in my previous working life, and having seen a couple of colleagues being caught out at various times by acting on information received over the phone then being told something entirely different later on, I almost always do things by e-mail. If you have something in writing it's difficult to argue your case to the contrary! So I had kept all communication to e-mails and explained to the Administrator that I was reluctant to put the current date on the deferment form as that would incur unfair fees. She asked if I had any evidence that I had been trying to contact the Director and I produced a sheaf of e-mails telling their own story so was allowed to put the date as the date I last attended University.

Because of that, I've just had an e-mail from the Fees Department letting me know that they are waiving the £30 admin charge for late payment of this year's fees and I would only have to pay £20 payment for admin involved in cancelling the instalment plan due to me not making any payments. For once, the illness has worked in my favour!! Had I been my usual on the ball organised self, and having made these payments, I would have paid £1,500 for nothing and I'm pretty sure it would have been a damned sight more difficult getting that back!


I've managed to start counselling again at the Agency - just one client at the moment to see how it goes - and it's just my luck that I've got a bit of a frustrating one to start with. When she was given her first appointment date she couldn't manage so asked for the following week. That's not uncommon - there are sometimes several weeks in between the assessment appointment and a first appointment becoming available so sometimes folk can't manage the date given. But when the day came around the Agency phoned and said she'd called to cancel as she had a cold. Fair enough. I don't want your germs thankyouverymuch so I'm quite happy for you to keep them at home! Of course at my end it was all pretty stressful because there was so much riding on these appointments for me - they signified my getting back into the fray once more and re-establishing that severed connection so I couldn't wait to get the process going again and ensure that my body was going to cope. So ordinarily I would have been rejoicing at the unexpected free time but because of what happened I just wanted to get going with it.

She turned up okay the following week and we finally got a first session under way. She was quite ambivalent about what was involved in the counselling and I think was more looking to me to provide that magical wand which would sort everything out in one fell swoop or at the very least give her the answers to all her problems. Which of course I can't. However, despite 'not knowing if she had anything to say' she had no trouble in filling the next 45 minutes after which she declared herself spent. No problem.

The following week she cancelled. That was frustrating but ok - things come up and I knew she had an elderly mother to look after who stayed out of town. Then the next week the Agency phoned the day before to say she'd cancelled again. Normally this would signify that the client isn't ready for counselling or the counselling isn't what she's looking for or whatever and they would be advised to go back on the waiting list but the strange thing is she said she still wanted to come and got quite shirty when that was suggested! She came in last Thursday but was all over the place which I think is a good reflection of her life at the moment. She did say she wondered if she should go to bereavement counselling instead (she lost her father last year) so I gave her the contact details of the local bereavement agency but warned her they had a waiting list as well so she said she might just carry on with me until an appointment became free there.

The problem is she only gets 10 weeks allocated to her with ACIS (it's a free service) and if she doesn't come it's counted as part of her 10 weeks so when she told me last week she couldn't come this week as she had a funeral to attend, I had to gently explain how the process worked and the fact that next week we'll technically be on Week 7 but we've only actually had 2 proper sessions! It's been a good learning curve for me though I have to admit because it's totally made me see the value of those 10 sessions. There's a very definite beginning, middle and ending in the process and anything which interferes with that also interferes with the counselling process as well. And it's frustrating for me as a counsellor to see so many things to work with around what she's speaking about but not actually get her into the room long enough to do it!

So it hasn't been an entirely satisfying start to my restart so to speak.


When I finished my training with the counselling agency in June last year they gave us a little envelope along with our Certificates. When I opened it, this was what was inside -


Isn't it cute? The little piece of paper explains each symbol and yes ok the star one is a bit cheesy but I really like the others! (ACIS is the name of the agency - Aberdeen Counselling and Information Service.) I keep it hanging up in front of a little heart-shaped mirror beside my bedroom window.


The wording on the mirror is A smile is the prettiest thing you can wear .