I want more. Im exhausted and I want more..
I did case management today. And it was pretty awesome. finding out what she wanted and needing and being able to get started with a plan. She saw our case manager and they did not get on at all.One step removed from a complaint and I had to refund the fees ect. So I said I would do it, I dont have another social worker student to do it. And its self pay so its not illegal for "anyone" to do CM as long as we arent billing insurance.
I was damn good at it. Im not surprised at all really. I know what people need. I know how to talk to them. I know how to make them comfortable.
But its not my job... My job in this was to handle the complaint and smooth it out and I took ok the CM task to help her try to get insurance. ( which we did start) and encourage her... And I was good at it.So much so her son messaged my receptionist and told me not only did I put his mom at ease ( he joined us due to the first complaint) but he said she was excited and looking happy for the first time in a long time....
i did good. I did right.
And its not my job and I cant really do it again.For them yes, because they wont see our CM.So I can help her.
But its not my job, so everyone keeps reminding me.
Because for some reason you need a bachelor degree in human services to find community resources and help people get signed up.
FFS.
The whole reason I love being an HRM generalist is because I get to work WITH my team and help them. And frankly being told im breaking all the rules on HR and making people rethink HR generalists is pretty damn ego boosting too. BUT its the people. And the tasks. Its not the paperwork and the technical stuff.
Sure its sweet when an entire house of therapists was at my door today because the smoke alarm is chirping and driving them crazy. Why ALL of them needed to come to my building to tell me lol. They were lucky I did the CM client at 1, normally I leave at 12 on friday. Its sweet tobe needed. And it needed batteries which is a no brainer thing. They freaked out at my jumping on a chair arm and taking it off the wall. Yeah im needed. Im damn good at managing a company with 70 employees and 7 locations ( I was forced to count this week) AND its the people... Some days im paperwork and technical stuff... Like taking on5 new hires and training in july and 4 in august. and complications. and i miss people... Just like I miss working in preschool and working with kids...
Im missing something. I can be damn good at what I do and still feel like its not enough. And lets face it. My Leo traits come out. I need to be needed and feel good at doing something bigger. To the point if CEO says I cant help this lady, im going to offer to meet her on the weekends and I wont charge her to help her. Im that frustrated....
I get needing a degree and license, but im not going into crazy debt to do something that pays less then my job lmao. AND i dont need a damn license to do what i did and what I plan on doing to help her...
I wish it could be that simple...
I said in my interview. I would be content with helping, even being the first step IS helping someone... and 5 years later... starting to feel like its not enough to be the second or third step. But I simply dont have it in me for the school. I cant. Its astronomical debt and 6 years of school before I even start. And most of it on shit I dont need and wont use... Like calculus.
I just need something more.
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