I described my kid this morning as dreamy. I woke up and started dreaming about everything- the sky, the weather, the flight of birds, bugs and plants and the river and just everything. In wistful, blissful, wandering. In the early after afternoon, I decided to try this breath work exercise that we’re going to practice in the red woods.
I noticed my prescription shift right away. The auras around everything popped. I hadn’t even started yet. I laid down and started the breathing. Starting up at the ceiling, the shadows from the window shades became ripples on the ceiling with depth. It looked like the roles ridges formed in sand under the shallow but of water at the edge of a lake. I felt my head become light, expanded. I remember feeling that way before, but being cautious and feeling careful. The anxiety was associative, not present in the moment.
I stopped after a little while. I knew that if I kept going I would pass out. I lifted my legs, back, legs- moving to bring myself back into my body. I rolled over and did sit-ups, then pushed push ups. I stretched and did lunges. Before I knew it i got up and finished a bunch of chores. I kept moving, feeling a strange energy to move. I lunged around the yard, harvested a gallon of strawberries, trimmed the elderberry bushes. After a bit I finally sat down to write. Only i couldn’t, really. I kept just staring at the sky. It kept showing me things.
The tree auras were there and incredibly bright, big, and deeply colored. It was like I couldn’t look away. Thoughts ran through my mind one after another after another. I realized I was totally scatter brained. My thoughts were totally jumbled and made no sense in the order they came in. Still I watched the sky. Many light popped. The dancing lights were there and also different lights. Big orbs. Much bigger than I’ve ever seen before and something new, as well.
Every time I glanced anew there was a little cloud just there, above the line of the power line. It would slowly fade away as it blew across the sky and then another would appear. They didn’t blow in. They didn’t slowly coalesce. They blinked into existence instantly. In the exact same place. Once I caught a big light flash, then the cloud was there where it hadn’t been a moment before.
I watched this happen repeatedly for about 2 hours.
After this I felt exhausted. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I wandered back into the house and lay down, and slept for 2 hours. I had dreams. They felt incredibly familiar, even though I know I’ve never had those dreams before. The feeling was so nostalgic and melancholic- remembering in my dream, what had occured before. Feeling old feelings. Recalling old memories and people and interacting. Of course, these had never occurred before, but the feeling that they had occured was so very poignant.
I wonder if the planets align just right to create a certain resonance with personalities her on earth. I think it must be so. We all have these historical patterns that we call memory and the past, but insanely agree that the is no such thing as time-!? And yet. Nothing of our primary understanding of experience changes. We still say that we have past, present and future-total blasphemy to the eternal now. What is that?
This makes sense to me; that if there it’s, in fact, vast and foundational bodies creating angles of resonance with certain thoughts and feelings, that those frequencies resonate with the existing thought-forms in our astral bodies. And since they are activated, responding strongly and brought forward, we percieve them either unconsciously or consciously. Either way, those thoughts are the ones that are here in front of the attention.
I’ve observed this cycle consciously for about a year, and unconsciously of course for my entire life. I think it is more or less accurate. More accurate, that is too say, than the next theory.
My recent experience with the intense anger was really not an exception at all- but seemed to prove the rule beautifully. There was deep personal anger within me. That is the personal astral fragment that lives in my own astral body. Through it, I felt the felt the anger. Deep, fundamental, earthy emotions of rage, irritation, indignity. And once through that very personal thought-form, understanding it not just as an identified ego, but also as the observer, I saw through my own personal anger to the greater feeling beyond…
It’s as if to know myself as all of the old philosophers said, is to suddenly see the actual window pane itself. Once the window is understood to be a window, then I can look right through it.
I can recognize the great turning of the wheel of this realm… See it for what it is. And it’s so much more amazing than anyone can ever guess. It’s all a choice. ALL a choice.
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