I felt it the moment my heartache lifted.
It’s embarrassing, who I become when it comes to catching feelings for other people. I did take the day off work. I don’t have a car anyway. I didn’t get up to much since I was just stuck at home. I could have walked to my gym, but it is too hot out right now. I walked to the mall down the street and managed to get a headache from it. I needed to replace the screen protector on my phone because my dumb ass dropped a weight on it. This is because of my shoulder pain.
My wrist and my shoulder are frustrating the hell out of me. I need to see a physio. The gym has been my stabilizer; I don’t want to lose it.
My ADHD meds are making it very hard to eat. I skipped one meal a day over the weekend. Yesterday too. I do want to cut just to see what I will look like after, but this isn’t the way to do it. For breakfast, I should eat chicken and rice. For lunch, chicken on rice, and for dinner, chicken under rice. I’m not taking those meds anymore. My mind was quieter at first, but my baseline was low-grade anxiety, which affects my appetite and my sleep. Sleep is the only thing I can get right.
My world shrinks down to the size of the pain, and I know that. I can see more clearly now, and my little Grindr journey did pay off a little bit. I did make three friends. Christian is finally back to talking to me. He was dealing with intense work drama that just ended yesterday. He wants to grab coffee on Friday. He made it a point to tell me that he doesn’t want to date. Jared did that too. That’s all good to me.
I’m back to work today. Still no car, so one of my coworkers offered to pick me up. This morning, I am just meal prepping. I’m hoping I get a call saying that my car will be ready today.
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