With Mercury (mind) conjunct the sun (Sun = son/ Son of GOD/ CHRIST), I cannot help but feel elated. My mind with the Christ so close, is how I EXPERIENCE the world; including thoughts, but also FEELINGS.
The true magnetic pole drawing my experiential reality (Christ) is conjunct the mercurial mind in which all of my perceptions congeal into concrete experience in this world. My environment, my body, my relationships, everything.
Both in Aquarius ruled by Uranus. Aquarians have an interesting pickle to figure out; which is their true ruler? Saturn or Uranus? In my birth chart, it is more complicated even than most Aquarians, because I was born on a Uranus-Saturn conjunction! 29 degrees of Sagittarius. But really, with both my sun and mercury in the third house, they are in Gemini, ruled by MERCURY. haha So my sun (Christ / “I” / Higher Self) resonates with the true Mercurian. Mercury (mind) has the function of coalescing all sense perceptions and experiences of this world into a higher astral plane. I don’t know how that works, but I do believe that in order for us to accumulate experiences spiritually, which is the entire point of being here, it is necessary for the sensations of this world to be transformed into something elevated and spiritual, so that they may pass with us beyond the veil after death into the spiritual realms.
Fill your cups with treasure that you will take with you.
Something big has shifted in me and this is very close to it; that FEELINGS ARE PERCEPTIONS. When I did the Healing Questions (which is great btw, you should do it too https://q.questionsheal.com ), it took me straight to the underlying belief. Which was, “If I don’t judge myself as bad first, my parents will and then I’ll be harmed.” With this awareness, suddenly I was able to perceive my feelings without judging them as bad and keeping them at arms length. Suddenly, I was open to the breadth of feeling without any fear of “what must this mean about me?”
And then....
I began to feel and see all sorts of new things. I say “new” but, I must remind myself and everyone that we all perceive everything all the time, but our bodies are a reducing aperture. We only see what we have the energy to withstand seeing. So when I felt that I might be violently attached for feeling any certain way- then I would NOT feel that certain way. Those certain feelings were off-limits for the safety of my nervous system.
And this goes to show that therapy, even somatic feelings therapy, isn’t actually doing anything at all. All it’s doing is point out and reinforcing the fact that our nervous system doesn’t feel safe. It might give us tools and tricks to avoid the triggers, to build up more of a “feeling” of safety… which only serves to reinforce the fact of our primary lack of safety. Once the belief that “I am unsafe” is examined and disproven, the nervous system automatically has all that extra energy to do what it could not do before.
It is all a belief system. Our beliefs dictate our reality.
So my belief was dictating my reality. And, once I examined it and realized it wasn’t so, automatically, I started feeling and seeing all sorts of things. And this is why I believe that feelings are perceptions.
I began to see, with my eyeballs, not any third-eye sight or closed eyes or whatever, the sylphs in the sky. I hear the house-spirit in our home. I feel the joy of being in my body. The unmatched wonder of my children existing. A transcendent affection for my husband, and other people. It’s all there, just here, waiting for me to explore the whole world with a sense of openness and acceptance that I didn’t have before.
The Inner and Outer Worlds are reflections.
The expansiveness I feel exploring my internal world mirrors the expansion in the outer. I do not have to have a bad attitude about my mom; I feel an openness and universal love embracing me from the cosmic mother. I do not need to judge my feelings as bad for fear of violence; everyone in government and the police are just doing their job the best they can with the knowledge they have. They aren’t intentionally evil; they have incorrect beliefs.
There is possibly something to say about intentionality. But I’m sure I’ve said enough for now.
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