Another.
Mom’s thing is figured out. All good on that front. Then another family member reaches out. Inexplicably. I think the last time I got anything from her was in 2021. Sheesh! The timing is incredible. We’re talking a couple of days, here. Over a period of 5 years. Within days of a true resolution, bam. A message from the old fam.
And I do mean old.
I am in a pretty unique position of being a Millennial, but the child of Boomers. Yep. It’s odd, but not that odd. There are others like me but the vast majority of Millennials are children of much younger generations. And my Boomer parents aren’t anywhere near the cusp. Talking about a decade.
Anywho, so what that means is, a lot of my family is dead-or Boomers. lol. Ooooollldd. YEESH.
It’s kind of sad, really. Most of my grandparents have been dead for decades. And, of course I have no connection whatsoever to great-grands. Just a few very faded pictures… and none that I have had any access to for half a decade, either. I don’t even know what they looked like. All I have are some vague indications from my parents over the years-indications that are coming through their very distorted lenses.
One such indication came from my mom toward this particular aunt, D, who contacted me today. My mom, as she related it to me, was under the impression that Aunt D thought that she was an uneducated rube. Which, to be fair, I think is true. But to add insult to injury, Aunt D is a bona fide genius and prodigy. Aunt D can also be insufferably condescending. All that said, I also adored her as a child. She was a teacher; her talent is language and she has mastered at least 10 that I know of, and teaches foreigners of all different backgrounds English. She’s also lived abroad for a very big portion of her life and when she was younger, which I found to be the most fascinating thing ever. The contrast between her and my mom cannot be overstated. So the fact that I, the daughter, loved aunt D was probably a kind of wound to my mom.
Still. Not my fault. Nothing I had anything to do with, to be completely frank. My mom has had a LOT of insecurities. And, as a child and even young adult, I obviously tended to appease her-out of rank necessity. Despite how much I was fascinated by Aunt D and how I loved the way she treated me-like I was intelligent and interesting, not just a snotty child-I felt the tension and the drift. And before I knew it, I was an adult and I began to receive the real Aunt D; an abrasively condescending intellectual. Also a very forceful and aggressive idealist for her particular political class. In all, not really that different from her brother, my dad. She made it clear that she would not approve of me if I didn’t go to university. Not just college- a top 10 university. Just like her. And do you know? My parents sent me. I’m sure, to the utter chagrin of my mom.
Now, that I am just now, barely on the other side of having really put to rest this whole ordeal with my mom. POP. Here is Aunt D. Aunt D to sneak in sideways and say “hey, by the way, I wonder if you recognize this pattern in the family? The Authoritarian punishment of curiosity? I was so taken aback when an Iranian man told me-you know we’re not allowed to have opinions?”!
Now I know that my aunt is quite intelligent. Genius IQ and all. And a literary expert. And she knows that I know that she’s quite intelligent, and a literary expert. LOL So she’s fishing. Right? Do you get it? You get it.
Thing is, intelligent or no, there is a very clear pattern that happens with these people. Maybe it’s their generation or something. I don’t know. It’s the pattern of manipulation. Aunt D didn’t strike up a conversation. She said “I wonder if you recognize..” this is a jab. One that my mom certainly would recognize, if not in the literal sense, than the energetic one. It says; “I wonder if you’re smart enough to notice what’s under your nose this whole time.” And it’s not a question. It’s a statement. One designed to elicit defensiveness, ergo energy to feed off of, but also in that defensiveness, some nice juicy gossip!!!
If the Boomers love anything, it’s gossip. I don’t get that. I really don’t. Why do they care? Why is it important to them? Yeah, yeah. I do know. It’s that whole status thing. Pluto in Leo people, my GOD barf
Anyway. She is my Aunt. Just like my mom is my mom. She’s in my life for some reason or another. So I suppose. I will look into it.
It has occurred to me that I am a very good writer. I don’t think I’m good in an egotistic way. I just recognize a honed skill that has been developed over the years. AND, it has also occurred to me that we are in a time of AI overkill. That everyone and their brother are churning out reams of AI “polished” articles. Notes. Books. Blogs. Entire series. So it would seem, my talent has become something of a diamond in the rough. My talent is something people are looking for.... whether they know it or not. Because human beings are like human beings. Whether it is spoken aloud or in the dim fog of the unconscious; we cannot actually relate to AI polishing, or entire plots, or blogs, or articles, or, anything. We look at the stories and the pictures and we marvel, yes- we marvel. But we don’t relate. Human beings and AI are not relatives.
It is less my writing and more my loyalty to being a human being that is my particular value. I don’t use AI, and I never will. I can’t exactly say what it is, like anything in my life; it’s a feeling. It’s that inexplicable Splenic hit that I got once, and only once, that I heard and it said no. A simple, hard, and unapologetic no. I felt it. I heard it. I knew it. There is no discussion. There is nothing to discuss about the guidance that directs me to the previously unknown. I didn’t know. And then, I knew. It’s that simple, and inexplicable.
So it has occurred to me. That that no all that time ago-not really so long, actually, but time sure does seem to fly recently, eh?-was a guidance to this path of being a particular rarity. I am untainted by the AI. I haven’t talked to it. I haven’t searched with it. I haven’t done a dang thing with AI other than feel a funky uneasiness when I read an AI-derived article, message, etc, or feel that instant revulsion when I see an AI image.
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