3 months later....
So I looked over the last 2 entries to see what needs updating.....
Susan and Buddy no longer exist.... well, Susan is still in my driveway. Turns out she’s got a transmission issue. $4500 to fix?!?! Uh NO.... I could get another car for that. When Rocky got his taxes back, we bought 2 cars. Rocky’s is a 2010 Chrysler 200, black, 210k miles, NO Issues, $3250.... well till now… his gauges on the dash aren’t working .... something likely came unplugged. I’m giving him his chance to figure it out, but only through the weekend, because we need to get my car looked at. My car.... oh, got a white 2011 Toyota Prius, 250k miles $3500. Drove it off the lot and now has dash lights on for something with the brake system. I want Rocky to get his car fixed then mine will go down.... BUT.... all while trying to get and keep the house note paid.
Jake hasn’t given anything to speak of as far as rent goes..... it’s become apparent that he has 0 maths. There was a set of texts today in which I had to explain to him.... though he knows.... that because he’s $1800 behind to me. I”m 3 months behind on the house… things will get better soon. I always believe it.... but there are things I can do to ensure it.... RIGHT?
I’ve been so stressed out about bills.... trying to hit $1000 every week and failing.... Got into another accident involving Jake’s car.... in fact, that was the day Rocky got his taxes and we bought the new vehicles. After back-and-forths and sooo many questions, where the answers were all the same as the last guy who asked me.... UGH
It’s been stressful and complicated but.....I mostly came on here to say.... my heart is breaking.
Jake.... Jake had decided to get a job. He worked with a job coach through a mental health program in order to find a good fit for him. He started working at Applebee’s as a dishwasher.... in the beggining they had him working 4-5 days a week.... then less… till it was only two days on the weekends. Then there is always something he needs to spend his money on that doesn’t involve paying rent..... in fact it more involved taking everyone to breakfast, lunch, dinner.... seems like that’s what he does whenever he has any kind of money.....
All the while we get more and more behind on bills because this wasn’t the plan. I just kept doing the best I could.... but.... I”m broken now. WHY?
So after his hour were cut and they told him he’s too slow.... then no more closing.... they send him home early every chance they get.... Jake get’s another job. The thing about this is.... the omitted truths/half lies and letting me move forward on assumptions he doesn’t wish to correct. The situation I thought I was looking at was that he got a full time job.... sitting… in a group home. Light housework, making meals, and entertaining the 4 people who live in the home he’s assigned..... I’ve learned so much since.
There was 2 weeks of training that seemed be over too soon because of a high turnover rate and staffing issues. ....
Oh! 2nd shift.... we had that conversation again. We had one when he was applying to places.... and I was a bit ticked to find he again applied for 2nd shift..... allready planning on not seeing me.... after conversations about how 2nd shift significantly reduces the amount of time I would see him. He saw that as a benifit because “Cassie (ex-wife) and I got along best when we were on seperate shifts.” So now it applies to me.... UH, NO! didn’t we go over this 2 episodes ago with the sudden panic attack and the not emotionally supporting me with a check in? .... I thought so....
So, I’m out here scared they are going to start the forclosure process on my house (any day now) and he’s applying for second shift.... amongst reasons for it… seeing his son? Wait but that..... you Know just telling this is getting confusing.... let me try it another way....
The tale of 2 Jakes (btw high now)
Once Upon a time there was a Jake.... who swore he couldn’t get the princess out of his mind. That he had mentally put her face on the woman he called wife. Jake and wife had a baby but they weren’t willing to continue a farce for the sake of a child. Children can tell when you are unhappy and honestly do not benifit from the conflict of parents. They saw each other as little as possible and Jake eventually divorced the mother of his child. Once things had settled he went through his past .... looking for any shred of friendships passed. Ex-Wife had been a cruel and demanding woman. None of Jake’s old friends were good enough for him and so after many years with her, Jake found his friends were her friends. That not only was he starting over alone but with only the support of his very small family (Jake’s an only child) to lean on he found himself lonely. With demands of a mother who is not so gracefully aging and Ex-Wife trying to use thier son as a pawn his life seemed busy but not full. He hunted down The Bard. Jake had been friends with The Bard since they were both very young. The Ex-Wife had said 1/2 truths about The Bard and made it known that being around The Bard made her uncomfortable. Jake distanced himself from The Bard to a point that The Bard wasn’t even at Jakes wedding. Ex-Wife had mentally abused Jake to achieve whatever it was she was after (do not care about the villan story here that’s part of the point). She will always have him now. Jake will be attached to her because they have offspring together. The Bard happened to be the best friend of THE PRINCESS. Jake had met her before, in fact, when they were young adults they had a rather steamy and lovely trist. A quick love affair with no ill feelings. “If Only” .....He had met The Princess long before he ever knew who the Ex-Wife was.... but now What’s This? The Princess is still besties with The Bard? Now, Now is the time… Jake did not care that The Princess had allready taken a Prince. He was an Epic Knight there to save her from her loneliness. After all The Prince had neglected her. Jake could do better, Jake adored The Princess and had no filter in telling her all the things he could be.... and would be for her.....and she her future in him somehow.... That the 3 of them together would forge an easier road.
Once Upon a Time, there was a Jake. He was lonely and everywhere he looked there were people who understood how detached from reality he’d become. So he sought The Princess. She had been so loving and attentive when they had a passionate affair… and such a kind doll when they were young adults… . … He found her only to find her married but miserable. Jake did all he could. Said whatever he could to get what he wanted....1/2 truths and straight lies it didn’t matter. Jake wanted The Princess.... Prince or no Prince.
I”m done now.... hands are tired and room is moving in the places it shouldn’t be. That’s been happening a lot because of stress..... BUT this ones from bad eating.... whatever… gotta go chill in the living room and get away from the screen.
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