Rhythm it's what I think I am developing. A strong sense of doing what I need to as it needs to be done. Similar to the day before and the day before that. It's what if I am successful I will be doing tomorrow and the next day, and the next.
A rhythm isn't for everyone but for some people with depression, anxiety, and chronic pain it's exactly what is needed. To stay focused on the smaller things, to keep moving, to feel purposeful. At any rate it's what I need at this time, and it's starting to work.
I get sleep, the house is in remarkable shape, I am constantly moving, and the rare times I am not it's because everything is done and there is a since of peace in that. I have had a visitor this week, and that's also nice, because I don't normally get those. The visits are going remarkably well considering this person is a source of a lot of how I got here writing in a suicide diary in the first place.
Things change, and apparently so do people, occasionally anyway. The rhythm isn't perfect however, I need to find some time to meditate and exercise in it, and there are other things I need to be adding to my life. A job, maybe some charity work, things to get me up and out of the house. I need to start paving my own way, even if that's a hard thing for me to do.
But I am not about to complain about everything not being perfect right from the get go. In fact I think it's probably for the best. Doing everything I want/need to be doing from the start would be exhausting. So I am going to start small and add more when this becomes breezy. For now I am smiling, and less tired so that's a start!
-Jane Doe
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