Crisis in Like No One Is Reading

When someone is trying to talk to you about their mental health status, try just listening instead of actively thinking of ways to “help.” If you’re thinking of ways to help, you aren’t actually listening to what’s being said.

You said you wanted to know when I’m having a hard time, well, here you go.

You’ve put me in crisis. And not for the first time.

Every other time, it’s been me trying to calm and comfort you while I’m dying inside and, you know, I’ve had enough of that in my life. I’ve had enough of manipulative men who use my love, kindness, compassion, and mothering instinct against me.

I just never thought I’d see it from you - and I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t grown and changed so much over the last several years with you in my life. You legitimately helped me in more ways that I could list.

Just because you’ve helped doesn’t mean you haven’t hurt, though. Every time you do this thing, it triggers one of the most powerful traumatic responses I experience because I truly cannot tell you how many times, by how many men, it has been used against me. All the way back to high school, you know the one.

And now I can say it’s literally been every, single man I’ve ever been intimate with.

Intention does matter and I don’t believe you intended to completely obliterate all the progress I was feeling like I’d made. But, obliterate that progress, you did. And now, the thoughts in my head sound a lot like they did before.

What am I even good for?
The world would be better off without me.
I’m worthless.
I’m a broken wreck.
No one should have to put up with me.
I’m obviously impossible to love.
I should just check myself in and never come out.
Everyone moves on eventually, anyway, so why would they care if I was dead now? It will just save them the trouble of leaving.

I always knew the shiny would wear off.

Last updated February 03, 2022