Yours in First entry

I never thought I would be here. I never thought that I could find someone that I could start talking about a subject and they would be able to finish it right where I left off. Or as we talked and she was sharing her thoughts and feelings it was like she had stolen my thoughts. Things like how we want to parent and emotionally support our children, how we picture the family structure, our desire that any future marriage will not be my children and I living with her children and her, we will not settle for less than it being our family. They will all be our children. Her children will have a bonus dad and my children will have a bonus mom. Even in the small hobbies we match. She brought up how she loves the Legend of Zelda and I was like no way! That is my absolute favorite game of all time. I feel like I’m in the Truman show. Like I have millions of people watching my life and seeing how things develop. There’s a grand scheme being played out. I have 15years that definitely had some good times and suddenly someone hit the button and my world crumbled. Millions of people watched is my world shattered into millions of pieces. I survived. I took the high road. I did the best I could. Then, with all the information that these people knew about me, they created this woman that feels like she was created just for me. Like the person that was designed down to the smallest detail with me in mind. It reminds me of the story of Job. He lost everything, yet he held on to God and was restored 10 fold. Anyone that has read my story got to see a very real side of me as some of the darkest times of my entire life. Now you can hopefully see the other side of that coin. It’s about time. Last night as we were talking it wasn’t “if” this or that it was “when” this or that. I can see it. I can literally picture a future where we are happy and fulfilled. We are both realistic in our expectations. We know there are going to be challenges and it isn’t going to be rainbows and unicorns forever. At the same time the important thing is we are both ok with being that partner that picks up the other when they trip and fall. We want to know how we can support the other to help chase their dreams. It’s nice. as we were talking, there came a moment where we just said something about let’s do this. I stop and said hold up, are we doing this? She said I think so. So then I said so I guess that makes you my girlfriend…Yes, I weird and awkward. Stop judging. But, she likes me for me. All my weird awkward ways. I may over play that a little, but it’s fun. So, we decided that we would be exclusive. It feels....nice. It’s like after you have been walking through the cold and the rain and suddenly it stop and you can feel the radiant heat on your face. Who knows, maybe I am heading to another heartbreak. If that is the case then I will have to pick up the pieces, but what’s the point if you aren’t trying? We will see what happens.