I regress in Torridaussity Two

My title prb should be I am regressing. I find myself more and more isolating myself and becoming distant and disengaged. Part of me is doing this because I am feeling neglected by those who are closest to me. Part of me is slipping into feeling depressed. I had my taxes done the other day (yes I know I always wait as long as possible lol) and you know what I found out? I am getting a refund, but I made 4000 less this year than last. I have been at my job for almost a full 9 years (Sept. will complete my 9th) and I keep making less money how is that fair or acceptable. I will explain my job...it is hourly wages 11.38 an hour, it requires a BA degree, and I work one on one with children who have behavioral problems. I love working with the kids I truly do. The thing that sucks is that during the school year if a day is missed or canceled I don't work therefore don't get paid, if my client is sick and there is no sub work, I don't get paid, and once summer comes and schools are out, our hours are basically cut in half. None of this is in my control nor are the amount of hours we are assigned. The case managers control our hours. The company tells us there is not enough money to give raises. I have not seen a raise in 6 years, yet the cost of gas rises (we use our own vehicles to travel), the cost of living rises, the premiums we pay for our insurance rise, and yet there is no raise to help cover those costs. I am slowly going into debt because of my job. I do look for other work, but nothing pays near what this does in my town and I just don't know what to do. This is one reason I am regressing. My auto immune disorder coming back is a second reason. I am slowly losing all my energy, my body aches, and the blisters are itchy and annoying and painful. I have to tell anyone that it is back, not even the doctor. I keep praying that if I just wait it will go away again. I say one more day and then I'll call the doctor, which by the way I can't afford to see so that's another reason I wait. I wait because I don't want to be on steroids again or immune suppressants again. On a more positive note, my grandfather isn't bleeding out of his colon anymore and is slowly getting stronger and will be able to return home. He doesn't want to be in a nursing home. He wants to go home.
On the whole dating front I was right Don never contacted me after my last text, what an immature coward, but what do I expect from a 43 year old man who uses text speak more than a teenager and makes jokes worse than a 5 year old right, so it's his loss and really my gain. There is someone in the picture now that I never expected to be. A friend of mine I met through facebook named Stuart. We met on some people meeting app and he added me as a friend years ago. He was dating someone and became engaged and we were always just friends, well a few months ago they broke off their engagement and we talked more often than we had before and he has broached the subject of their being a chance of an us. I like him, but I don't know him all that well because we never invested the kind of time you do in a relationship to get to really know one another. He lives in England and neither of us can afford to meet in person any time soon. I did agree that we could invest more time into getting to really know one another and see what happens while keeping our options open. I am not holding my breath, but will just see what happens.
I guess that's it my lovelies, hope you are all doing well and thanks for reading.