Oh... Chloe, your GIRL best friend in Musings

One of the very, very few female friends that Liam has, Chloe, is one of the very few women that he’s introduced me to that literally intimidates the living fuck out of me…
And for Liam to tell me “Babe you and Chloe…you guys are the same exact person” I was, I’m not gonna lie, insulted. Don’t compare me to a woman, I am way stronger than a woman, I am a man and it’s fucked up to say, I am a Puerto Rican man working against my own machismo, a woman can never compare to me.
Liam has always told me from the beginning that I remind him of her… and I’ve always just rolled my eyes like “oh wonderful, I remind you of a silly, weak woman, this is just a form for you to emasculate me”

I am supremely dressed up. I had gotten the engagement ring Liam had given to me, because I was clumsy and the ring was smashed in a door and bent it out of shape and a few diamonds came loose… I wore one of Tante’s beautiful bracelets she gave to me in France, I had Alexander’s rings that fit on my middle finger… and I specifically dressed up, but like dressed up flashy (in the way NYC socialites do, I wasn’t looking like a mob wife lol).

I get to see him and I see Liam whispering in her ear as I approach. He’s super drunk and stoned and stupid and he bursts out “Babe!!!!!” He’s hugging me and kissing me and I look from the corner of my eye this super gorgeous girl, who’s dressed up belligerently, and her stupid little smirk.
“Babe!?” Liam grabbed me “this is Chloe!” He said taking my bag. “Yo Babe! You guys are the same!” I looked at her and raised my eyebrow and she looked at me from head to toe and purses her lips.
She intimidated the fuck out of me… her energy.. her clothing. Her fucking jewelry.
“Oh I’m sorry about my fiancé, he’s like a puppy, he gets excited over nothing” I said reaching out to shake her hand.
“Oh of course, he’s been my best friend for at least 9 years—I’m glad someone is marrying him” and she shook my hand in her very lady way.

First of all… she intimidated me because of her demeanor, she was very receptive to my territorial type of introduction and she landed her swing.
“Yo! You guys are literally the opposite sex version of each other!” Liam said.
I glanced over at her, gave her a head to toe glance and she looked at me the same way.
“Liam stop saying that about your fiancé, I don’t see how we’re similar” she said pursing her lips.
“Liam shut up!” I said annoyed
“First of all he’s a man… look at him” she said as she sized me down. “Second of all, he’s far more luxurious and gorgeous than I could ever be” she said stoically. “Don’t compare a trash whore like me to this beautiful guy, he far outweighs me” she said as she sipped her champagne..

I felt my stomach drop to my knees…
“Oh God Chloe!” I said giggling. “You are fucking stunning, you intimidate the shit out of me” I said giggling “I can’t believe our Liam would ever be friends with someone as gorgeous as you!” I said… and I truly believed it.
“Oh for fuck sake Andy, I didn’t even know our Liam was capable of locking down a man like you! You scare the shit out of me!” She said as she smiled and I realized the reason her face was permanently bitch face, was because she has botox and anything that she would say seems like she’s being a bitch, because she doesn’t have the natural expressions and then I realized I have the same Botox which might’ve sent her into a space where I would be intimidating to her. “I don’t want to be a bitch, but I am a bitch—so don’t take this the wrong way” she said leaning over to me “I’ve seen a lot of Liam’s partners, and your boy doesn’t have the best taste in men or women, I’ve never met someone he’s been dating that has intimidated me just by there arrival” she said standing closer to me.
“Omg I’m sorry Chloe! I don’t wanna come off like that… I don—” she interrupted me. “Andy you came up those stairs and I swear I saw you sparkling before you came up, the wind hit your hair as you approached us and I was literally ‘who is this?! Why is he coming towards me?! Is this Liam’s fiancé?!”

As the night went on Chloe and I were inseparable… we sat down, I gave her my coat, as we were on a rooftop and she was freezing. She talked to me about all of these really, really deep topics… religion, politics, travel… her career… and I was literally dumbfounded by her…
“Chloe when’s your birthday?”
“Oh god! Andy!” She said laughing
“I don’t need a year darling!”
“Fine!” She said swirling her finger over her champagne flute “I was born on a Good Friday on April 5th” she smirked “what about you?!”
I literally guffawed…”NO FUCKING WAY! I WAS BORN ON GOOD FRIDAY, APRIL 5TH!” I shrieked.
“No Andy you’re fucking lying to me, let me see your ID!” She said
“Bitch! Let me see yours!!!” We pulled out our Ids and handed them to each other.
“Oh my fucking GOD!” We said in unison under our breath.
“We are Aries twins and we are both the same age?!” I screeched.
“You fucking little bitch! We are the same exact type of cunt!!!” She said laughing as she hugged me. “Of course Liam would say that we are the same type of person!!!! Because we fucking are!!!!”

“Wait!!! Twin to twin, why haven’t you dated Liam? Or have you?” I said holding her hands.
“Babe, fucking EW! Liam is like my brother, I’m not gonna lie, HE has tried, but he’s so fucking ICKY to me!!! I can’t! I see his genital region as a black vendor bar with vomit emojis!” She said as she started laughing.
“Oh my fucking god… is he dating me cause I’m a boy version of you?! Like am I his second choice!?” I said. She crossed her legs and held my hands “I’ll break a best friend rule, I don’t think he’s smart enough to think of you as a replacement, I don’t see you as that, I have NEVER in my entire relationship with this dude EVER heard him talk about his partners the way he talks about you…bitch you didn’t go to dinner with him last week and he was SOOOO FUCKING HEARTBROKEN ON MY COUCH!” She said laughing… Liam came over “hey what you guys talking about?”
“You” we said in unison…
“Oh what about me?” He said
“Liam! Go get us more champagne. Why the fuck are you asking too many questions?!” She said.
I looked at her like, stunned… “yeah babe, we need more fucking drinks!”
“Fuck you both” he said angrily “that’s all I need! My fiancé and my best friend to form a hateful alliance against me!” He said standing up… Chloe looked at me in that “tell your man to shut the fuck up, grab his dick, the only alliance we have is that we love you” and I did… I stood up, grabbed his dick, and whispered in his mouth “Babe, get us some drinks”
“HOLY FUCKING SHIT ANDY!!” She said as he disappeared into the crowd and did what I asked him to do…”bitch! Now I get why he’s always told me that I remind him of you and you remind him of me! You’re a fucking cunt babe, you fucking understand!!!!!”

I absolutely loved Chloe and I also feel very, very intimidated by her… she is a straight woman version of me…I’ve never met a woman that has matched my weird, humble, arrogance… I’ve never met someone that can wear Louboutins and not give a fuck if they get scratched up or intimidate me as much as I intimidate them. She’s a beautiful, stunning woman—she’s not white she’s Colombian and Paraguayan and relates more to her Colombian side… and looking at the fucking size of her ONE ring is the equivalent or more to the ring that Liam gave me and to the ring that Alexander gave me… like she’s a hardcore fucking Woman… I mean if I had a pussy, and I was a double business owner and gaining money from investments like she is… like this fucking bitch told me the same quote I tell myself “I’m not worried about winning the battles, I’m here to win the war” it’s like this woman is in my fucking head… and my little Puerto Rican boy machismo—that shit went straight out the door! I do get why Liam says “oh you remind me of my best female friend babe”
She is a higher, much more aggressive version of me… I am a very successful business owner and I do have my hand in stocks and investments and all this shit… but just like a woman would do, she’s far more intelligent, far more of someone with cojones than I am… and she is valued at 2.57 million dollars…that of which she cringed telling me and covered her face “Andy I don’t want you to think of me like this!” And my response was “so that’s your fucking net worth bitch? You didn’t have to get married, get divorced, have your assets divided because of a shifty prenuptial and my net worth is 2.89 million?! How the fuck can I be a person like you? You picked your ass off from your boot straps?! How? How the fuck can I be worth more without having to scheme and finnegle my way, the way that I have, to be worth more?! I’m metaphorically that bitch that bought her instagram followers and you’re the bitch that earned every single penny that you are worth, every single dollar that you exist off of is from the sweat off your back!”
“Oh baby… when you understand how you can intimidate a bitch like me, but you’re just a little pussy—when you really learn what the fuck you’re worth Andy—you will fucking rule this world, there’s no reason that you should be making a few 100’s of thousands of dollars more than me…YOU ARE A MAN, YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE, YOU HAVE AN ELOQUENCE, A DEMEANOR ABOUT YOU. YOU ARE EDUCATED AND JUST LIKE ME YOUR SKIN IS WHITE ENOUGH TO GET OPPORTUNITIES” she said pulling me up to her and embracing me “I feel like your my fire twin, and imma tell you this because our knuckle head Liam isn’t grabbing this in his head, you have settled for less than what you deserved all your fucking life” she held my face in her hands “YOU are a Latino man, and as a Latina women to my Latino man, don’t let me and all the Latina women that you’ve ever known just powder your balls and sing songs to your dick, Latina women know what there men are capable of, you need to figure out for yourself what Latino men like you are capable of” she kissed me on my lips and hugged me.
Liam came out of nowhere and pulled me and Chloe apart “Yo did you guys kiss on the mouth?!” And Chloe looked scared and confused and it reminded me of all the Latina women that have ever loved me....
“Yes the fuck I did kiss Chloe on the mouth” I said to Liam.
“What the fuck are you doing Andy?!!” He started to scream at me and Chloe came and grabbed him “Lee I just wanted to kiss him!” She said as he became crazy.
“Liam, if you talk to her in any sort of way that disparages her, I swear to you I will knock you the fuck out, burn this ring and you will never hear from me again”
“Yo what the fuck?! Why you guys kissing in the mouth?!” He said grabbing my arm pulling me into him.
“We’re Latinos… I kiss my mother on the mouth!”
And Chloe is trying to pull his fingers off my arm one by one “Lee! Let him go! We’re drunk man!”
“No, no, no mami!” I said as I gently pushed her into her seat “I’m a fucking man, this is my decision, I’m not tonguing her down, I’m not grabbing her pussy, if you’re such a weak man to be worried about a GAY MAN and your best female friend sharing an intimate moment and not understanding the culture that we come from, her kissing me on the mouth isn’t a sexual thing, it’s a fucking bond” I said as Chloe just struggled to speak. “Shut up Chloe” I said “you feel jealous about a kiss? You should be happy that I can relate to your friends! I dont fucking kiss your friends cheeks or hug them, why? Why you so pressed about her? Cause you’re not man enough to see that her and I are being intimate without sexual urges? You’re gonna fight my sister because she kisses me on the mouth? You’re gonna fight my nieces and nephews cause they peck my mouth? You’re gonna fight my brother who tells me that I’m his world and his everything and his baby brother, and he pecks my mouth and hugs me?” I said as I shoved him off of me.
“Nah, It’s just weird babe” he said as he bolted his eyes back and forth. “She’s a woman…I have no sexual feelings for her, she’s your bestfriend… and in a span of what? 4 hours she’s become my bestfriend… you get stupid like this when Jennifer, my bestest friend in the world pecks me on the mouth, when she says good bye?”

Chloe stood up and hugged me and Liam just felt defeated… “you’ve been telling me this woman was my twin… I don’t wanna fuck her, but as far as I’ve known and found out you’ve been wanting to fuck her!” I said and Chloe covered my mouth.
Liam just stood there with his arms crossed… you gonna tell him that Chloe? He said…
YES NIGGA SHES GONNA TELL ME THAT, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU HIDING?!

And I dragged them both downstairs… I put Chloe in a car to her house and stood there with Liam…
You wanna fuck girls? You sure you want a boy for the rest of your life? In a monogamous relationship?
“Babe yes! I just want you! I’m sorry bro!” Liam said.
“I fuck you… 7 days a week, whenever the fuck you want” I said “I don’t use condoms with YOU, I suck your fucking dick whenever, wherever you want! Don’t fucking play me, ever like what you did… I’m sure you’re use to dating little white faggots, or really ratchet Latina girls… but you ain’t ever tried to marry a Puerto Rican man like me, slow your fucking role and watch how the fuck you talk to me, and handle me… you grew up in a fancy part of a third world country papi, I grew up in the ghetto of a first world country… don’t tread on me… I am not the one… I will eat you up whole.
“Babe, I’m sorry. Okay?!” Liam said as he reached out to hug me.
“Papi, don’t question my loyalty to you, I am yours forever. You got that?” I said embracing him.
“Yeah. It’s just hard with you, cause I don’t even know if you love me or not” he said, holding my hands.
“Okay…” I said holding his hands and kissing them “I’m not the most affectionate person and that’s my fault, but tell me ‘Andy, I want you to hug me more, I want you to touch me more’ or ‘Andy I like when you hold my hand, I don’t like to be dismissed, babe can you please include me?’” I said “you think I want you to feel that way, you are my man, you are the MAN of my life, you’re my best friend, you can tell me everything, and I’m not irrational” I said
“Okay babe” he said grabbing me into him “I don’t like that you kissed my bestfriend on the mouth” he said as he swiped his thumb over my cheek and his hazel eyes glistened, filling up with tears.
“Okay Liam” I said ” I will not do it again, but I want you to understand and engrave in your head it wasn’t sexual” I said intertwining my hands in his.
“Yeah I know” he said as he kissed my hands “I don’t like when anyone kissed your mouth, I just feel like that should be reserved for me. I’m sorry!” He said curling up on the nook of my neck.
“Okay Liam. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, I will make a conscious effort to speak to all of my friends and family that mouth pecks aren’t a proper way of being intimate with me” I said laying my head on his chest on the cab ride.
“Cool… I just want those lips to be mine and mine only…is that ok?” He said rubbing my chin…

I was too drunk to get off the cab, so he literally grabbed me and carried me into the building…

Oh god I am obsessed with this guy…
I might’ve been drunk, but I could hear his heart beating as he carried me into the elevator and when he put me dow in front of our door to open it.
His fucking hands are huge and he has muscle but he’s still so lanky and thin. Like a swimmers body.

I pull off my shoes and waddle in through our foyer.
I just hear his footsteps behind me and his intoxicating cologne, as he slides his hands under my shirt.
“You want me to be honest Andy?” He said as I stumbled toward the couch.
“What Lee?” I said
“I wanna fuck the daylight out of you” he said as he ripped off his shirt and dropped his pants.
“I’m yours” I whispered. As he pulled off his underwear and the faint masculine scent of musk permeated the room. He kissed my neck. Ate my ass out as he drooled on his finger, pressing it into me.
As we were naked he picked me up and put me on the bed....
“Baby suck my dick for a little” he said as I got on all four and sucked him… drooling up and down his shaft.
After a while he kissed me, laid me on my back and penetrated me....”damnnn” he said as he wrapped my legs around him. I love seeing his chest and feeling him inside of me. As much of a bad ass as he is, he’s always so gentle and stupid when he’s inside of me.

I love you.
I adore you.
You’re my angel.
I don’t deserve you.
You’re mine.
Thank you.

All of the things he said as he fucked me mercilessly from 4 am to 8 AM. Staring into my eyes. Holding my hands over my head. Hearing his grunting.
My body was sore. My neck full of his bruises.

I love you Liam. In ways I didn’t think I could love a man.
And holy Fuck I love how goddamn assertive you are… I crumble
Don’t ever stop being a man asserting himself. Fucking fight me.