Hey. I’ve been punished. Because I hurt you (emotionally). I’ve been asking myself since you left, “Why me”? “Why do I have to love you as much as I do after all of this time”? After taking the time to reflect on my actions, I understand now. I was horrible. While the good I did was above and beyond, there ended up being more bad than good. I take full responsibility for the way I treated you. All I can hope for now, is that you understand where I was mentally at that time in my life. Natasha (my dog) passed away. My Great Grandmother got Dementia. All of our financial problems. Working 12 and a half hour shifts…ALL overnight. It was way too much to handle. I’m sorry that you came into my life during that difficult time. I wish I could’ve changed things.
I wish you could see me now. I’m still a mess, but I have used our downfall as a way to not hurt anyone else. I have been going to therapy and learning how to control myself when I want to blow up with anger. Now, with a normal schedule and decent money coming in, I am feeling more…well…normal. And believe me, I look back on the things I’ve done and said, and I’m disgusted. That’s not how I wanted to be remembered. That’s why I wish you could come back just once. To remember me for how you loved me.
I told you I was in there…I always was. But I was hidden. Hidden under the rubble of the empire I had built with you.
I have used every shooting star. Every 11:11 wish. Even my birthday wish. Any way possible to have you come back to say hello. Just like you promised. I have now realized I was given a sentence…Life in prison. Today…I am a prisoner in my own brain. Still waiting for the day you come back with a key to release me.
Loading comments...