The Jan 1 Entry in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

  • Jan. 1, 2020, 12:43 a.m.
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Every year (or every year I remember to do it) I like to take one of the first days of the new year to recap my goals for last year and develop some goals for the coming year.

Last Year:
(1) I want to get under 200 lbs. I want to get under 170 lbs. This means I must lose an average of no less than 5 pounds per month in 2019
(2) We have the marriage counselor. We have a good job. Wife no longer works at Wal Mart. There are no excuses this time. Either Wife and I get to a point in our marriage where Physical Intimacy exists and is not “the exception” or we begin the process of divorce.
(3) Instead of a vague appeal to maturity; I’ll list specifics. Basement finished by end of year; fence up by end of year. It isn’t even asking that much but it is the important stuff.
(4) KEEP MY JOB and get better at it.

Now… as a year-in-review, there were some ups and downs as that list goes.

(1) I DID lose weight. At my heaviest, I was 235 lbs. At my lightest I was 211 lbs. This morning I weighed in at around 214 lbs. Now of course, that does mean that I did not hit my goal of Under 200 lbs. But that being said? Whether I kept it off or not, I did manage to lose 24 pounds.
(2) Well, this one is strange. The individual counseling and the marriage counseling… I guess I could say… fell through. And I have pursued Separation. We need to file paperwork, Wife needs to find a new place to live. Does this satisfy the “begin the process of divorce” expectation? I’d say yes. Martha has stated repeatedly that the idea of “separation” makes her feel more liberated than she’s felt in a long time. Apparently, the idea of “trying to be a wife” was so daunting, intimidating, and scary to her that… she shut down. So now that she isn’t required or expected to be “a wife” (whatever that means to her), she’s happier. And so… we take this step to see if, in liberation she finds growth or if… no matter what happens we file for divorce.
(3) Basement IS finished but will need to be readdressed after Martha moves out. Fence is up.
(4) I definitely kept my job. And I think I got better at it. Going through the 4 day Sex Assault trial with the attorney general’s office sure helped!

So that’s the recap. What are we doing for the 2020 future? GOOD QUESTION! Instead of goals or hopes, I’m just going to throw out plans. See what I can’t get done.

HEALTH
(1) I am going to drink at least 1 gallon of water every day.
(2) I am going to eat a legit home-cooked meal at least 10 times a week. “Skillet Meals” and “Microwave Meals” don’t count! Leftovers do. So work with that. If you can only cook for three meals, make them big enough to stretch to 10. That isn’t even asking 50% on meals.
(3) Reinsert Breakfast into your schedule. Even if it is as insubstantial as a pop tart, breakfast!
(4) Nala gets a walk every day. Morning before work or immediately after work or both. No excuses.
(5) Any day where Nala doesn’t get two walks; exercise for between fifteen minutes to one hour as a replacement to that walking time.

HOUSE
(1) I am going to keep the house clean and tidy every night.
(2) I will not allow dishes to pile up. A dish is used, it is in the dishwasher before going to bed. The dishwasher will be emptied upon use before the next meal.
(3) ANY evening can be a clothes washing evening and clean clothes must be hung up and put away before going to bed.
(4) Every evening, scour the yard for Nala Poop. Keeps the yard clean and Nala healthy.
(5) Saturday is Yardwork day. Snow, leaves, mowing… whatever is needed, do it.

HEART
(1) Work on developing your cosplay. Kung Lao by AnimeIowa is the current goal. Meet it!
(2) Keep in contact with Des Moines friends and do Board Game Nights more often
(3) Foster new friendships in the IF area through continued theater and community involvement
(4) Use Victoria and Remus as resources for navigating a social world you’re unfamiliar with
(5) Encourage time with MBFITWW to be more social; motivate to explore areas not just watch anime

HOPE (Future)
(1) Make contact with judges to discover the best path towards a Judgeship
(2) Make contact with Investment Broker and discuss investment opportunities

We’ll see what happens!


woman in the moon January 01, 2020

You would make a really good judge. I'm glad you're thinking of it.

Rhapsody in Purple January 01, 2020

I also think you’d be a good judge. A good thing to work towards.

hippiechica15 Rhapsody in Purple ⋅ January 01, 2020

Also agree!

Always Laughing January 01, 2020

I wish you the best in 2020. I feel good things are coming your way.

hippiechica15 January 01, 2020

2019 gave you clarity, now 2020 is here to act on it. I'm glad to hear Martha is feeling "freed" by the idea of separation. I hope that gives her some direction and means to act in life. You have some good goals! I like the tidying ones, they seem trivial but they have a BIG IMPACT on your day to day. Happy New Year, best wishes to you for it!

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