- Lose you to love me by selena gomez plays in the background* *
” In my dreams you are delightfully suspicious of my words. You believe not in the flowers in which i try to color them but instead in my hand grabbing yours back and i believe in how althou i never really smile you still know when i’m happy. At night we run around and you never let me chase boys but instead somewhat ourselves. You tell me we cannot have all the anwers i say - i know but- in the dramatic way i do and you stop me and say - although we ae old souls, we are still inevitably young- i smile and run outside to see the full moon and you smile, watching me from the window”
i think that would be something i would write/live in a relationship with Ruso, there was this confort i had with him of understandment i mean after all we had the same birth chart; he tended to see glipses of who i was without me saying anything with that aquarius moon i always envied and i read him in a blink of an eye with my moon in piscis. There was always this lonley vibe surronding us.... hugging us to be precise and even though i must admit i never felt quiet saffe with him i was happy he did. I was happy to be there for him for as long as he needed me. In a world where i ended up with him maybe in a barn up north or in the city, i imagined us not being completly happy but being… and thats scares me. It scares me being in a relationship where i’m alive but not happy, i mean i take out the first ticket to watch sad movies on a misty gray day feeling the sadness of the world but it really scares me a future where i don’t laugh o have someone who sees me completly, where i don’t love him but i tie myself to him.
I want a love i feel everyday, one i get excited from and i share with him all the adventures i never imagined having. I want to run and turn back to see him grabbing my hand and not pulling me back. Catching him seeing me and smiling because i love him and he loves me and theres no doubt to that. I want to be asleep and wake up to him hugging me knowing we don’t need to talk to make me feel better i just need to be held. I want fun dinners with my friends and wine spilled over laughter around 3am kisses after they left the loft and to feel full. I want beach walks where he carries me and Gala nights where we don’t stop dancing and i can’t believe how happy i am.
Last updated October 23, 2019