R.A.D.: Wife in Trying to Hold On

  • Sept. 21, 2019, 8:48 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

Date Night

It was… interesting?

I got home, Wife and I took Nala for a walk. When we got home, I said I wanted to take a shower. Before I continue, do you remember how I approached the subject of Date Night with Wife? I said that this week, I wanted Date Night to be an actual date and I used the words “Kind of dress up for each other, take it seriously.” Those were my words.

Anyway, as I prepare to take a shower I ask if Wife is going to take the opportunity to change. She, very genuinely with no hint of teasing, asked why. She was wearing the same t-shirt and jeans that she had been wearing for all of Friday and all of Thursday and that she had just taken Nala for a walk in. I’ll tell you… I had a very frustrating shower. The whole exchange going over and over in my mind. Part of me thought, “Give her a break, she’s having her period, she just wants to be comfortable.” But the other part of me was quick to slap that man down. No. Stop always making excuses for her, giving her the benefit of the doubt, and being her advocate. You expressly stated, multiple times this week, what your hopes and expectations were for the evening. If she didn’t care enough to put forth a modicum of effort, that is what she has chosen. It is time to start embracing the mantra When someone shows you who they are, believe them. So I decided to do the same… I’d follow through with what I said because that’s who I am. So after I showered, I styled my hair. Trimmed my facial hair. Spritzed cologne. Donned the outfit that I had selected three days prior for this very occasion. I looked a little something like this:

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SO… as I came out to the living room where Wife was watching TV and said, “K, I’m ready to go.” it was a moment. Would she say, “Sure, let’s go.” Or would she decide to change?

She looked at me stood up, went to the bedroom and complained that she didn’t have any good clothes. Honestly… I suppose this is something that she hears in my voice as I often suggest that we could go shopping to get us both better clothes and she always interjects that we shouldn’t waste money on new clothes since we’re both trying to lose weight. However, this is something that she’s been saying for a few years now. Anyway, she decides to wear one of her nice shirts (nothing grand, but a shirt she selects for things like Family Dinners, Church, or Special Occasions) and off we go.

Were it a regular date, I do believe the girl wouldn’t call me back. I felt like I rather dominated the conversation, which isn’t good on a date, but frankly… I hope Wife can forgive me. As she lives with me and rarely asks me questions or listens to how my day is, I hope that she can forgive me for dominating Date Night conversation with telling her how my life and career are going. It was… fun? Nothing spectacular. Me and a woman went to dinner, had good food and fun conversation, then went our separate ways… really. I did rather sneak a goodnight kiss. And that’s what Date Night was. A rather timid and clumsy date if we were two people going on a first date… a rather humdrum and routine date if we were two people in a healthy marriage. So… as we’re somewhere in the middle on that spectrum, I’ll take what I can get.


Always Laughing September 21, 2019

At least she tried to find something nice.

woman in the moon September 21, 2019

Always nice to see you.
I've been watching original Perry Masons - black and white - on sisterinlaw's tv and you remind me a bit o Perry.

DE_KentuckyGirl September 21, 2019

That date sounds fairly routine for hubby and me. Except for the dress up part. I mean, at least you got out together, yes? Did she respond in any way to your telling her about work and life? Do you plan to ask her out again?

Foofah September 22, 2019

You look very handsome! I wish my Husband would be more willing to go on date nights. He hates spending money on eating out (which we can't afford to do now anyways) and I always have to pretty much talk him into it...

Ares September 22, 2019

Looking suave :)

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