Venting and Stuff in The grotesque metamorphosis of a Bi-Polar human into a Tri-polar monster.

  • April 20, 2019, 3:42 p.m.
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I slept in today.
I still can’t remember my dreams, but I know I’m having them.
Today is 4-20, so I’m going to buy an eighth of some really nice stuff to take to a party at Deanne’s place, but after that eighth is gone I’m not going to buy any for a while.

A - Because I’m about to be broke.
B - It’s just time to take a break anyway.
C - My lungs hurt (which is mostly due to the Super-Bloom and all the pollen, but smoking doesn’t help).
D - I want to start remembering my dreams.

Today will be super great, though. My sister just got into town last night for her birthday and we are just about to go to The Old Spaghetti Factory in Newport Beach, which is one of my favorite restaurants for nostalgia sake (but not enough to be a manager there because I definitely DID NOT go to that final interview, haha), so that’s going to be super awesome, good family times. After that it’s going to be nothing but great friends and smiles and laughter and more food and hopefully the sunshine comes out a little bit.

So, I guess yesterday was a pink SuperMoon.

I suppose that could explain a lot of my outburst or something…I’ve heard it’s an angry moon.
Also, I think the working out and Tribulus has made me more aggressive…which is probably a good thing, but I need to get used to it so I can reign it in.

I still feel bad for my delivery, and I am going to apologize for it again, but I’ve also decided that I have to quit that job. I think I am going to go in on Monday and give them a week’s notice, because I suppose that would be the high road thing to do…and that’s the kind of person I want to be, so that’s the kind of decisions I have to make.

As much as I just want to never go back there again…I don’t want to screw anyone over.

Even if Susan is telling the truth and the thing I actually freaked out over was a misunderstanding, the fact that I was pushed and pushed to the point where I blew up over a misunderstanding is a clear sign to me that I don’t need to be in that environment.

I honestly feel like I was mislead and I feel like I’ve been disrespected and taken advantage of. I left a steady paying job (that I didn’t like, but I was looking for a software engineering gig, not another restaurant) to come bartend for a friend who asked me to help her open a new restaurant…well, four weeks later and I haven’t poured a single drink and I’ve made $300…I live in Southern mother fucking California and I’ve made $300 in the last month…do you know how fucking real that is?

At this point, I honestly don’t care what the reasons are, I really don’t, because someone fucked up…and I don’t care who fucked up at this point, I really don’t, I don’t care at all…but someone fucked up, and it wasn’t me, and I had to pay approximately $2700 for it.

So, next week we are apparently going to get the liquor and we are going to start actually serving drinks…so I might actually make some money next week…which will be fucking fantastic because I’m going to need some money while I’m job searching without a fucking job because I am over this place and I never want to work with Susan again.

Well…that’s assuming I still have a job.

I’m not 100% sure if I said this or not, because I was thinking back on anything mean I could have said about Susan, and I definitely THINK this sentiment but I don’t know if I said it to Mario or not when I was yelling at him…but I may have said that I think Susan is the problem and I feel like an idiot because I followed the problem.

But, like…I’m not a math genius or anything, but at Daily Grill the entire restaurant was a shit-show and was run like shit and it was terrible…until after Susan left, and the new manager turned it around…but I was already out the door following her (I thought Daily Grill was the problem) and now that she has TWO restaurants to manage, they are BOTH shit-show’s and the staff at both of these locations thinks she’s shitty and they don’t like her…so, again, I am no math genius…but I think she may be the common denominator here.

I really feel like a fucking idiot for following the problem.

I don’t know how I’m going to talk to her about this .

Anyway, my family is calling.

I gotta go.

I’ll talk to you later.
I love you.

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