As The Fog Descends in Trying to Hold On

  • April 5, 2019, 12:48 p.m.
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Today is a foggy foggy morning. I woke up, got dressed, Nala woke up. I took her to her bowls and gave her fresh water and some food. She was entirely disinterested. Took her outside. She may have peed? I’m convinced that since we’re training her that she can’t get a treat or go back inside until she’s gone to the toilet that she’s learned how to fake pee. After we went back inside, she raced back to the bedroom door and started crying. She wanted to go back into the bedroom, hang out with Wife, and go back to sleep. lol.
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In random political news, I think it is both hilarious and tragic that so many of the Trump Supporters in my life have suddenly started reciting Abraham Lincoln’s statements that The People must oppose “those who seek to pervert the Constitution”. Really? REALLY? You are a passionate, vocal Trump supporter and are railing against the Democrats on the basis of perverting the Constitution?! HAVE YOU EVEN FUCKING READ THE THING?! Of course… the answer is almost always no. Because they listen to Fox News and believe Trump over All… all they hear is Hannity say something like, “Democrats seek to undo Constitutional protections that have lasted for over 200 years” and so they grab their pitchforks to go hunt down “the monsters.” But then you point out the MYRIAD ways that Trump, with GOP silence or support, has entirely perverted entire sections of the Constitution.... and the response is either “Would you rather have Hillary?!” or “Stop being butthurt that Trump won!” I’d roll my eyes but that feels too light hearted. There is a genuine cancer in our society and I don’t know if we can beat it… if we have enough people who want to beat it… if people even really even care.
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So what we’ve decided about puppy:
MIL will come to our place on Thursday to see the puppy and take care of her while we see the Comedian. We will spend Easter with my folks. Wife feels… like a new mom, in a lot of ways. Overwhelmed with worry about ruining the dog… feeling a bit trapped in the house due to taking care of another living thing… over the moon with a tiny adorable living creature being so into her… and every behavior that is “new or different” stresses Wife right the fuck out. The puppy hasn’t been as much BALL OF ENERGY as you may expect from a puppy… but then, we’ve only had her for 140 hours. That being said, Puppy got SUPER SQUIRRELY yesterday during the day… and it worried/stressed out Wife. She thought something was wrong. She thought that maybe she hadn’t taken the dog out enough, or had let the dog nap too much, or that the Dog was upset with her. It’s like… wow, lady. I mean, I love that dog… I do. I love that dog. But that… is a little much. One of the reasons why I really hope we can get obedience training worked out. The Dog needs it and Wife needs it. And (according to some Animal/Human Behaviorists) it takes approximately 6 months for training items to become behaviors for both Fur Baby and Fur Parent. We’ve had the dog for less than a month. I keep telling Wife that this cuts good and bad.... good in that there is nothing Wife can do and no behavior Nala can learn that can’t be corrected. Bad, at least by Wife’s perspective, because that means we’ll need to be consistent and active in training for at least 6 months. Wife, apparently, was hoping that training/raising a dog would be something where… you explain to the dog what to do, the dog does it, and with two weeks of consistent reinforcement the dog is fine forever. No. Nothing works that way. But that is Wife, for you. This many years after she quit Tae Kwon Do, In Line Skating, Art, Music… everything in her life really… she’s being forced to return to FUNCTIONING HUMAN STATUS. She may go in kicking and screaming at first… but I can just about guarantee that if she gets through the hard part, she’ll remember how much VALUE there is in being FUNCTIONAL. And if not? If after everything, she’s still a bit of a wreck? Then she’ll have a well-trained, well-behaved dog that loves her and can calm her down a bit.
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SO… I had a Jury Trial last week… Boss had a Jury Trial this week… and some of our officers, officers that have been here for 15 years… are saying that these last two weeks have been the first Jury Trials they’ve ever testified for. WHAT?! I mean.... I know in Tiny Town we never had a Jury Trial.... but that entire county was the size of the town in which I am currently living. No jury trial in 12 months for 5,000 people? Okay. Maybe. No jury trial in 15 years for 17,000 people? MUCH harder to believe or accept!
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In considering and contemplating how my wife feels about the dog, I must confess that I, too, feel a sort of “trapped” to it all. Whereas Wife’s sense of being trapped comes from recognizing that she can no longer be lazy about everything; my sense of trapped comes from merely understanding that it will take considerable time before the dog can truly be said to be sufficiently independent so as to allow me an abundance of free time. Namely… until her Potty Training is complete and she stops gnawing on everything in sight… we have to watch her. If we have to watch her, then Wife can’t just lazily sit in front of TV all day. If we have to watch her, then I can’t play video games for hours at a time. I mention this because the theme in all of that: Getting a puppy is forcing us both to grow up a little more. Necessary and important but… time consuming.

I do find it interesting that this kind of thing is the only kind where my patience is not as wide as some would think. I want the dog to feel free to roam the house, comfortable to explore every room, happy to have (essentially) free reign and go wherever she wishes… and I want her to get to that point like now. lol.
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Interesting Work Related Thing:

Remember the guy that has been furious for two years straight because the police raided his house with a valid warrant? The guy that could have had time served as a sentencing recommendation but was so furious that he demanded a jury trial? The guy that was so uncontrollably enraged that the judge had to yell at him to shut his mouth no less than 3 times during the jury trial? The guy that, for two years straight, has been demanding that he should never be held accountable for anything (despite having a record of drug abuse)??

He just sent the judge an official letter through the case file. Not to take responsibility for anything. But to explain that he is old, sick, fat, and harassed by law enforcement so that is why he was so out of line at the trial and that his behavior should not impact sentencing because he should never be placed in jail because it isn’t even like it is his fault… it is his bi-polar or anxiety or other health problems or the fact that his new wife has an 11 year old with behavior issues.

HEAD SLAMMING AGAINST DESK

I can’t say exactly as I’m surprised. But still. The only thing I ever want from Defendants is for them to take some (GD) accountability for their actions!!!

This guys was originally charged with 4 different crimes. I asked him to take accountability for ONE, one of those crimes… and I’d let him go with absolutely NO consequences! He told me to shove that deal up my asshole. DURING TRIAL the Judge asked him if he would plead to two of the crimes… and do probation. He said, “Hell no.”

SO… now that a jury of his peers found him guilty of two of the crimes… he’s begging for probation. This… this is the kind of thing that GOT ME INTO Prosecution. The spoiled child mentality.

To break it down for you?
Attempt One: If you clean your room, you can have two slices of cake!
Response: Fuck off.
Attempt Two: If you clean your room and do the dishes, you can have a piece of cake.
Response: Hell no!

Then the disciplinarian comes through and makes a demand: You will clean your room AND do the dishes. Right now!
Response: Then can I have a piece of cake?

GR!! It gets… frustrating. And what’s worse? It might work. That’s out of my hands. But this whole mentality bothers the hell out of me.

“I get to throw a tantrum and scream as loud as I want until I get my way.”
Until they discover they aren’t getting their way. Then it becomes:
“I’m sweet and nice and shouldn’t be held responsible. Can I please get my way now?”

You’re 56 years old. Fucking act like it!
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Two “Social Media Worthy” Political Statements I wanted to discuss briefly:

(1) I saw this on a friend’s facebook and appreciated it enough to expand upon the idea.
I was in Subway the other day and ordered a Roast Beef on Wheat with No Tomatoes. The person behind me ordered a Spicy Italian on Wheat with Everything. I was furious at this. I was so furious that I did everything I could think of within my power to make sure that person did NOT receive their sandwich.

This is an analogy about Gay Marriage. If you want to get married or not, that is your thing. If someone else wants to get married or not, that is their thing. Don’t flip shit and try to ruin someone else’s sandwich just because they ordered something different.

But what about my children? What about your children? If they want a Roast Beef Sandwich, order them a Roast Beef. If they ask for a Tuna Melt, give them that. If, after hearing about Spicy Italian, they ask you questions… why freak out? Simply explain that it is one kind of sandwich the place serves and that, while you personally may not like it, some people do.

(Full Disclosure: I have often and long railed against Gay Marriage before. As a Youth, I was blindly following my father’s absolute hatred. As I grew into an adult, it became about my current interpretation of the First Amendment… tying Marriage into Laws seems to me like a violation of the words ‘Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;’)

(2) I appreciate that many people don’t want the President to be “a genius”. I disagree, but I can understand why that would make some people uncomfortable. ON THE OTHER HAND, I would hope that The American People would want the President to be “versed in the basic responsibilities of his job and/or common sense.” Obviously, I was wrong in this hope. As has been proven time and time again. But what has most surprised, disgusted, and infuriated me? The ways in which the President’s political party support his stupid, awful, uneducated, or simply cruel absolute drivel.

The President, in attempting to highlight his FUCK THE PLANET campaign promise, decided to to speak about the evils of Wind Energy. Dude? The Great Plains is leading in Wind Energy. You want to bash alternative energy sources, hold a private speech where Coal is the industry. Places like Pennsylvania and West Virginia. This idiotic asinine uneducated President said: “I hear the noise (from Wind Turbines) causes cancer!” WHAT?!

Medical Organizations are studying the effects of Wind Turbine noise on health. Primarily looking into Nausea, Migraines, and other probable health issues. ALL research so far has turned up zero evidence of significant health problems caused by Wind Turbines. When asked if Cancer was considered a “probable health issue” every expert, professional, or person with an ounce of common sense said, “You’re joking, right? Of course not. That’s not how cancer works.”

AND YET
Iowa, a state that does a helluva lot of Wind Turbine business… has two GOP individuals that made three statements in response.

Statement 1: Chuck Grassley. Senator Grassley has been obsequious to Trump in ways knowing that Trump’s policies were going to hurt Iowa farmers. BUT we saw a sign of a backbone briefly. Senator Grassley breaks with President Trump, stating that there is no danger in Wind Turbines and Wind is a valuable source of alternate energy.

Statement 2: Kim Reynolds. GOVERNOR Kim Reynolds… Iowa’s first elected female governor… who received her Undergraduate College Degree in 2016… REFUSED to break with the President stating that she was unwilling to state that Wind Turbines do not cause cancer.

To which I would say: you ignorant, spineless, idiotic, stupid bitch. You’re in government. If you can’t find a politically savvy way to speak the truth while protecting yourself… GET OUT OF GOVERNMENT. Let’s say I was Kim Reynolds. Pretend I wanted to say something that didn’t sound like I was a complete idiot but ALSO didn’t disagree with Trump. I would say, “To my knowledge, Wind Turbines don’t cause cancer. But cancer research continues to progress and we should be open to the possibility that researchers may find a cancer connection.” BOOM You don’t like like an idiotic toady without a brain.

Statement 3: Chuck Grassley. Senator Grassley, realizing that other GOP members weren’t going to develop a backbone in light of the President being pathologically idiotic, decided he needed to walk his previous comments back a little. As he made the interview rounds, he changed his words from “No Danger from Wind Turbines” to “I’m sure the President was joking.”

::Hangs head:: You were in the room when the comments were made, Senator. They didn’t sound like a joke to you at the time our you would have led with that from the start. Instead, you heard something that you realized was idiotic and threatened the prosperity of your state… and, for a change, you stood up to it. Until you didn’t.

Cowardly obsequious toadying GOP failures.

(As a kind of reset, I will now share a photo from Alodia Gosiengfiao as she shows off a cosplay she is working on. This is one of my five favorite Female CosPlay Characters. Can you guess who it is?)
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Perpetually Plump April 05, 2019

Boyfriend got a dog in November, and he's been nothing but trouble ever since he got him.he started out pretty rough by attacking and biting everyone repeatedly. He only bit me once, but he immediate realized it was an accident. He tore up boyfriend and the 14-year-old probably two dozen times. He is insanely jealous of me and my boyfriend touching, and since both of our love languages are touch, we touch all the time. if we are kissing he tries to get in between us. If we're sitting together on the couch, he tries to squish himself between us. after I finally got him out of the bedroom last night the boyfriend and I were messing around, and we gave up because the dog was crying at the door for about 30 minutes. Boyfriend lured him away from the door with peanut butter and treats, but as soon as those were finished, the dog came back to the door and cried for hours. He woke me up repeatedly last night with his crying. First thing this morning he was crying at the door. Boyfriend commented that it's because the 14-year-old won't cuddle him at night, and I asked him if he is cuddling the dog at night. And then the moment the bedroom door gets open, the dog jumps on the bed and slams himself into my face and jumps on my chest. I am a super grumpy person when I wake up in the morning, and I assure you that this just infuriates me.

I think the boyfriend and his kids are teaching the dogs some really terrible habits. For instance, last night the daughter was letting the dog chew on her knuckles and then licked them like crazy. He bit her knuckles dozens of times, but it was on purpose. I commented that I did not think this was the best thing to teach him, and boyfriend just laughed. I think teaching a dog to bite someone's hands is an absolute no no. Letting the dog sleep in his bed every night and be the boss is also another no-no. I make exceptions for my dog sleeping in my bed, but usually it's just when it's really cold outside or it's a really bad thunderstorm. Otherwise, they sleep in their beds that are in my bedroom.
have you considered restricting Nala to just certain parts of the house for now? And then allowing her more freedom as she learns the rules better? For instance, just keep her in the room with the door to the backyard until she can consistently signal that she needs to go outside. Another trick that I think is cool for dog signaling to go outside is tying a belt to the door and ringing the bell every time you open the door to go outside so that she'll learn if she rings the bell you'll let her outside. My girl dog signal she needs to go outside by taking one paw and rubbing on the door. That's how she signals she needs to come inside, as well. if I'm asleep and I don't let her out because I can't hear her, she comes up to me and licks whatever part of my body is exposed and runs away, because she knows I hate it. But it's how I know she has to go out. My boy, who is absolutely as dumb as they come, we'll sit at the back door and just do one specific bark one time. When he wants to come inside, he does the same bark, just once. We have a pretty good system worked out.

Park Row Fallout Perpetually Plump ⋅ April 05, 2019

I agree that those are some bad behaviors to learn, certainly!! We have restricted Nala (as much as possible in a mostly open plan house) through various means and I hope (strongly) that working with a Trainer will be a benefit to both Wife and Nala.
Our old neighbors had their Havanese trained to indicate by the ringing of a bell! I thought it was so cool. Indicating was one of the things that the trainer I spoke with mentioned.

Perpetually Plump Park Row Fallout ⋅ April 05, 2019

You may not need any input on this subject, so please tell me if you already know these things, but are you familiar with clicker training? It's something you can work on now, before you ever pay for training. It's sooooo easy, too. When we got our second dog, we clicker trained him, initially. It didn't take him long at all to not need the clicker anymore. Now he's bacon package opening trained, treat jar opening trained, and "you touched my leash so now you must walk me" trained. 😂

Comfortably Numb April 05, 2019

"Attempt One: If you clean your room, you can have two slices of cake!
Response: Fuck off.
Attempt Two: If you clean your room and do the dishes, you can have a piece of cake.
Response: Hell no!

Then the disciplinarian comes through and makes a demand: You will clean your room AND do the dishes. Right now!
Response: Then can I have a piece of cake"

This. Is. My. Husband.

OMG you just totally (and succinctly) described my entire marriage. Yikes.

Park Row Fallout Comfortably Numb ⋅ April 05, 2019

Wow. Sorry to so succinctly describe that! :) I just find that kind of behavior to be.... I'd hate to say "poor breeding" but... certainly discourteous.

AppleGirl April 05, 2019 (edited April 05, 2019)

Edited

I still don’t let my dogs roam my house freely...and they’re 8 and 4. Especially the 4 yo will get into trouble upstairs (pulling toilet paper out of the garbage and ripping it up, etc.). They can only be upstairs when it’s bedtime or when I’m up there too. And the only rule I have for dogs (I’ve owned dogs my entire adult life, trained them, etc.): a tired dog is a good dog. You want a well behaved animal? Tire them out and put them on a schedule. For puppies: Wake up, out to potty immediately, associate one word with eliminating “potty” “peepee” etc....lots of praise or a treat to begin with for success, just ignore failure, no yelling, etc. Eat/free choice water, play hard (15-20 min), out to potty again. Crate (if a puppy). Mid morning, outdoors walk (10 min) and potty. More playing or skill training (sit/stay/lay,etc. - stop when they get bored or stop paying attention 10-15 min.) then crate. Mid afternoon, walk and potty. Keep with you while you do things around the house connected to you by a long leash long leash for a couple hours - paying attention to them for potty signals. Out to potty then crate. Feed dinner, out to potty, more very intense playing before bedtime (20-25 min.) or a very long walk. They should be tired out. Bed. Younger dogs need a small crate space, a “den”...this helps with potty training. Older dogs can have a “den” area, like a whole room. My dogs go into our home office. If you have a dog that’s consistently peeing/pooping indoors in the same place, clean the area and then move their entir food/water bowl set up to that area. Dogs do not like to defecate in the same area they eat or sleep. Lots and lots of praise all the time, and start by rewarding with food, but move to rewarding with praise, pets and scratches, or interaction with toys. Don’t want a dog that is only food motivated.

Lol, sorry that’s a lot -and probably stuff you know already. I just love dogs - good luck! The dog is beautiful!

Park Row Fallout AppleGirl ⋅ April 05, 2019

Thank you! Dogs are great :) I honestly have high hopes because our pupper has been doing really well so far. Of course, now that she's comfortable with her space and with Wife and I... we're seeing her sassier side. Need to continually discourage her from eating the carpet, the yard, and stop biting behavior. But it is kind of funny. There are two creatures to train in this scenario: Nala, brand new puppy... Wife, brand new dog owner. As they make mistakes together, and learn, I'm hoping it will help them bond :p

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