I Have Mapped My April in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

  • April 4, 2019, 1:20 p.m.
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Obviously, those who read me can appreciate that I am a fan of schedules. Not like… tightly, insane, every minute of every day is planned and any deviation from that plan is fatal. THAT kind of planning leads to psychotic breaks and a total destruction of the self. But as far as “What is likely to happen when” I’m a big fan.

To that end, I just mapped my April. There are hearings and the like all over the place but as to honest, genuine, things to make sure to stay on top of?? Only 6 items all month! And four of those are personal items like Medical Appointment or Vet Visit. So I succeeded in creating an April that was reasonably, entirely manageable.

With two exceptions.

Thursday, April 11th, Wife and I are supposed to drive to West Des Moines to see Dan Cummins at the Funny Bone. Now that we have a puppy, Wife thinks it would be inappropriate to leave the dog alone for that long. All told, at most, it would be approximately 6 hours that the dog would be alone. An amount of time that the dog will need to learn to be alone at some point. Wife thinks that, after only having had the dog for 12 Days, it would be cruel to leave the pup alone for that long. I intend to call my parents during my lunch hour to confer. Also during the lunch hour I will call the One on One trainer to set up the Free Puppy Consultation and discuss training opportunities.

Of course, the other exception to “entirely manageable” is Easter. My In-Laws aren’t very religious; but Wife isn’t a great daughter as far as being in contact or visiting them. SO… my In-Laws get first dibs on Easter plans. But they aren’t as plan oriented as my family. Differences between Country Mouse and City Mouse, I’m told. But the puppy complicates some of this (and those Pupper Complications are exactly what Wife has been freaking out about… because she doesn’t do “Crisis Management Decision Making” well). You see, we could go to In Laws. Let the dog meet new people on their turf. But how would they feel about a dog that wasn’t potty trained? They’ve never had dogs before. Okay, so then… we could have In Laws come to our place. Dog is fine, In Laws are fine, we’re all fine. That is an easy solution. BUT we don’t know what their plans are, if they have plans, if they’ve even thought about Easter yet. On the flip side, my parents would LOVE to have Puppy come visit and would LOVE to have us come down for Easter. However, it is very likely that my Brother would bring his Dog. And while it is SUPER important for Nala to learn how to socialize… I’m a little worried about putting a 4 month old 11 pound puppy against a 9 year old 240 pound Great Pyrenees. Especially if we haven’t gotten to socialize her around other dogs at that point. Something else to discuss with parents.

As to Wife and Nala… I think they’re both coming to understand one another a little bit. Wife only had one minor freak out yesterday and she didn’t cry… she just had that circling thought, “What if I can’t hack it?” To her credit, Nala did an EXCELLENT job with Potty Stuff while it was just Wife and Nala. No accidents in the house all day. That… changed… after I came home. But then again… that simply reflects the well established fact that Dogs understand Humans better than Humans understand Dogs. Nala went to the door (good girl!) but couldn’t wait for us to get there too (which is okay, puppies have control issues)… so she pooped by the door. Then, in the middle of the night while Wife and I were asleep… Nala needed to go potty. We didn’t wake up, so she found a Pee Pad closest to the door and pooped on it (giant poop). So… I count that as a victory! Nala is assessing the situation… trying to get to a door… she is just having some control issues which makes a lot of sense for a brand new puppy!

One additional thing making today a bit extra tough for Puppy and Wife? Wife needs to go to the Community College to fill out some paperwork for if she wants to take classes this summer. They told her that filling out the paperwork could take up to two hours. Of course, Wife is freaked by that (whether for herself or the dog it is difficult to say exactly) and is saying that the Dog shouldn’t be home alone that long. I’m trying to break it to her that… the dog can and needs to be. Granted, she’s still VERY new to us and she’s still VERY young… but this is the time where we start to give her the impulses that will guide her for a lifetime. We owe it to her to make her be by herself for a few hours a day… so she can learn to self-soothe, so she can have her Separation Anxiety freak outs, so she can realize that SHE is still safe and WE will still come back even if we’re gone for a while. This is all very important and much needed work. BUT ALSO: The fact that Wife is less concerned about the dog getting injured, or the house being destroyed, or the dog pooping everywhere… Wife’s concern consistently remains focused on trying to bring up puppy in a “healthy environment for her.” If I wanted to do Arm Chair Psychology: Wife feels so messed up emotionally that she doesn’t want to do the same thing to the dog.

Another good reason to have the One on One training to help the Wife get some confidence.
alt text
Good for Me/Us.... Bad for Me/Us.... either way.

One thing that has been important:

Since getting the Puppy… life has become other than “TV watching, Working Out, Video Games, Drinking.” Don’t get me wrong… we still watch TV. We’re working out again. But the Puppy will not go down stairs. We’re going to try to introduce her to the basement today to see how that goes… but the Puppy, who follows us every where, will simply stand at the top of the stairs crying as loud as she can if we go to the basement. Positives and Negatives there. The basement is where the majority of our carpeted space is. If she poops or pees down there… not as easy to clean up. However, she’ll love running around down there more than on our top floor because she slides around a bit on the hard wood. Positives and Negatives. If she is about to have an accident, there is no quick or easy access to the backyard from the basement. However, if she were to chill in the basement, she could nap on the sofa while I play video games.

Right now… that’s the funniest thing. I have full faith and expectation that Nala will work out, be a wonderful addition to our home, and be an absolute joy to have in the family. But despite what many of you call my “endless patience” this is where I am patently impatient. I want things done now. lol. I want to have my dog potty trained and obedient now so that she can roam the yard, the house, hang out wherever she wants to, while Wife and I live our lives that include her as opposed to revolve around her. And I’m not one of those dog dude saying, “Our dog is the center of our lives.” But I am one of those Dog Dudes that says, “Until the puppy is housebroken and well-trained; there is a lot of work to do!”

So for lunch.... I tried to take care of some personal stuff.

Item 1: Credit Card? 5 Days Past Due?! WTF!?! Okay, can’t access that with Work Crappy WiFi, so immediately goes on list of things to take care of at home!
Item 2: Check on Wife and Dog. Dog has absolutely 100% figured out the Three Season Room and treats it like we’re sending her to prison. That is acceptable. I remember the looks of absolute pathetic horror and sadness that Kody would give us… they got so bad, Dad would check on him discreetly. And if Kody didn’t know he was being watched, he’d be totally fine. Wife took a test today at the Community College and she said it was faster than expected and easier than anticipated.
Item 3: Borderlands GOTY… is it in Iowa? NO. Only available copy is a 5 hour roundtrip to grab. Shit. I hate being forced to buy things via Digital especially considering how limited digital can be since DIGITAL takes up memory. Balls.
Item 4: Call parents. We’ve had tickets to a Comedian for months that Wife has been really excited to see. Wife is (a bit) freaking out… wait, I already talked about this a little bit in this entry, didn’t I? I’ll just assume you know all this. Parents said, “Sure bring Nala down, we’ll take care of her and try to see if we can do a socialization thing with her and Ole” so.... I’ll let Wife know, see what she thinks.
Item 5: Call Obedience Trainer: Left A Message.

So… that makes it 13:02 and my day is pretty much over for work. I’ve planned out all of April, I’ve made all the phone calls I can. So now I have approximately 210 minutes left in my work day.

I’ll do this Gratitude Exercise I stole; then cruise around on-line looking for tips on Being a Better Puppy Owner and/or Video Game Player. lol.

Three amazing people in my life are:
My Mom
MBFITWW
My Best Friend Buffy

Three great things about my physical body are:
I’ve learned to tolerate pain
I’ve never broken a bone
I’m more flexible than most men my age or older

Three great things about my home and where I live are:
It is The Scenic City
There is both life and quiet, not just one or the other
My Home is exactly what I need in almost every way

Three great things about where I work and what I do for a living are:
I work with people who care about outcomes
I have help and accountability, but can operate autonomously if I wish
There are no “You can’t have Dr. Appointment” bullshit rules

Three great gifts of unique skill and talent I’ve been given are:
I typically don’t have a problem speaking in front of others
If needed, I can make quick decisions and think up solutions
I try to see things from multiple view points when I can

Three great gifts of knowledge and experience I’ve been given are:
In order to best argue a point, one must be able to anticipate the point’s weaknesses.
The best route is one that is formed by logic and facts, but delivered with emotions
I’ve experienced (personally or vicariously) almost every domestic scenario in existence… so while I can’t always think, “I could see myself there” I can usually think, “What specific issues are they facing?”

Three ways I have experienced “luck” in my life are:
I’ve had wacky illnesses, conditions, and bizarre medical emergencies and I’m not dead or otherwise too significantly disabled.
I was super luck to be born into my family… we don’t chose our families but I certainly got lucky!
Getting my present job was certainly a bit of luck.

Three ways in which my life is wealthy, abundant and prosperous are:
I have never been in a position where money prevented me from eating
I currently own a home and still have money left for Wife’s Therapy, Couple’s Counseling, and owning a Dog
If my entire life came crashing down tomorrow; I’d still have somewhere to go and a support network to assist.


stargazing April 04, 2019

I think you are right..the dog is going to have to get used to you guys being gone for hours at a time. I don't know many people who have a dog and don't leave the dog at home all day while they are working.

Perpetually Plump April 04, 2019

Have you considered doing crate training with her? If you get her a bed, and some stuffed animals, she may just nap in her crate and chill while you guys are out of the house. Then you also don't have to worry about her destroying everything. When I got my first dog, she was three, but she was still a demon. She had to be crated for a good while after I got her. And she had no problems going to her crate when we had to leave. when I got my second dog, no one knows how old he was, and while he would go to a creek, we'd have to push it fat ass in there. But he didn't mind it. And truly, it kept my house from being destroyed. I gave away their crates, because I haven't crater either of them in years and years at this point, but they're also really old dogs.

it would probably behoove you to potty train the dog the same way that you potty train a human. Regularly take the dog outside. like if you notice she pees once every hour, take her outside no less than once every hour. It might also help to establish a word for her or a phrase that signals she ought to be going to the bathroom. For my dog, it was "get busy". So I'd ask her if she wanted to go outside or if she need to go to the bathroom, I'd take her to the back door, ask her again if she needed to go to the bathroom, get her excited, and then open the back door. She go outside and the moment she squatted to pee, I would tell her "get busy". This helped her when we would travel with her, because she understood that the point of her being outside was to use the bathroom, and not just to get exercise. And under no circumstances would I want a non-housebroken dog visiting my house.

Regards to the great Pyrenees and your tiny dog, unless the dog is aggressive I doubt you'll have any problems. Dogs know when they're dealing with puppies, just like they know when they're dealing with babies. my girl is not a fan of other dogs, but I babysat two very tiny Chihuahuas once, and she was best friends with the 4 lb one. It was amazing to watch this tiny pup chew on my girl's lips and ears and for the to have growl-offs. Because the puppy was so small, she'd sit in my lap and my girl would come stick her head in my lap for the puppy to do her best. Plus, your brother's dog may be able to give Nala a tutorial on being a dog. I know my girl had to teach my boy house manners and how to use a doggie door.

Down the rabbit hole... April 04, 2019

Ok maybe it's just me but I feel like ya'll are really overthinking this whole dog thing... like I agree that dogs have to learn to be alone, but I also think sticking her in a room by herself while you're there is stupid. I agree with an above note that crate training can be helpful especially with destructive dogs, but it didn't work with mine because he was terrified of the crate. I would only shut her up if you're actually leaving and I usually leave the TV on for my dogs and with a puppy it might be helpful to get one of those Kong toys and put some peanut butter in it. As far as the middle of the night accidents, I'm sure you already know, but it's super helpful to have an early set feeding time so that she has ample time to digest before bedtime. I also think you should go to your parents for Easter and introduce her to your brother's dog as long as his dog doesn't have aggression issues with other dogs.

My dogs are home all day while I'm at work along with the cats and pigs. I realized after about a year that having 2 dogs would be better so that they had each other to keep company. Just a thought.

Filiola April 05, 2019

Absolutely take the opportunity to have the pup around the older dog! The older dog will know it’s a pup and treat it appropriately (assuming it is socialised) and the pup will 100% do all the wrong things and drive the older dog nuts, wherein the older pup will growl and nip and do all the things that TEACH the pup what is acceptable dog behaviour and what isn’t. As long as there aren’t any concerns around needing shots before exposure etc, the earlier you can get her out being taught doggy things the better for you guys in the long run!

Purple Dawn April 11, 2019

You have a lot on your gratitude list :) So do I, I think we're very lucky.

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