To have heard those words in 2018

22:05

Too bad that auto save draft feature hasn’t been implemented yet because I just accidentally swiped the window closed and lost the entry I was working on. I almost always save to draft but figured it wasn’t gonna be much longer 🤦‍♀️ Oh well.

Ok. So. Things I’ve learned from A since thanksgiving: 1) she, and presumably everyone else, saw me through the window that day [in my sexy dress 😉]. 2) she didn’t come out to say hi because I was talking to people and didn’t want to interrupt. Too bad because it would have been nice to say hi to her! 3) All the brothers were excitedly telling them that we live next door [as far as I know TF and the brother are the only ones that knew we live here] 4) “They love you and your mom” - her words not mine and I don’t know which brothers said that. 🤷‍♀️

I sooo wish I could have been a fly on that wall to know what they said. She said it was all good things. Heh. Makes me feel stupider for reaching out to him that day though. Also seems pretty weird that things turned out the way they did, especially if it’s true they were talking about us. Not that I know exactly what was said.

In my dream fantasy world I would totally be able to go over there and hang out. They’re all relatively close to my age, super fun(ny), and such a good time. Have I always wanted TF to get to know me and spend time with me with no expectations? Yes, of course! It takes me a while to come out of my shell. I have to feel comfortable enough to show you my true colors and they’re damn bright and beautiful. 😁 But it would still be nice to hang with the family. He doesn’t even have to be there! I just feel like I need more people like that in my life.

It shocks me to admit it but I almost kinda miss having wild loud people in my life to pull me out of my comfort zone. I need that even if it gives me anxiety at first. It’s such a nice thing for an introvert. Like you’re doing it for someone else instead of yourself. You don’t need as much courage, or something.

Either way, it’ll probably never be a thing. Just interesting stuff I’m learning through a few messenger exchanges. Thought I’d document it somewhere for my own record.

In other news I was just informed this morning that we have a business meeting tomorrow morning. Not mandatory, but actually needed so I’m now waking up with the sun to cross the mountains and make it out there by 10am. Yay....

rose.