January 4th: Moving back to California in "Waiting for my Petrichor"

I am moving back to California. AHHHHH I can't believe it. I really didn't want to have it all come to this, but in the end I believe it is the best decision for both my present life and my future life. I haven't lived there in three years. Weird how fast time goes by. I just feel it is time to go back. I am so done here. I need to get back to the west coast. Of course, my ultimate goal is Washington. But I don't see that happening if I continue to stay here. I DO see it happening if I move back to Cali first, where I can actually SAVE. Also, I believe finishing my education at Cal Poly will be a much better choice. For starters, I won't have to take four years of spanish to get a frikin BA! I eventually want to talk to a counselor and figure out which education track will be right for me now that I am changing my life for .....a umpteenth time. I can't wait to just get my life straightening out and a degree on my record! But all that stuff is for later, for now I need to focus on saving all my money this month and then figuring out what things are truly important to me, pack them up in Herby, put Jappy in the front seat. And. Leave. I plan to drive all the way to Alabama to stay with my uncle, and then drive to Caralie's in Texas where I will hopefully meet up with Andrea! Then we can travel to San Antonio and Austin, then Roswell, then back to Cali together! That would be so awesome. I am very excited to finally do this. It has been in my mind for some time, I was just really scared to disrupt my education now that I finally went back to school, but when I got back my grades and realized I'm just not even INTO school right now I was like fuck it. I need to get my life together first. THEN education. I don't accept mostly B's when I know I am an A student. Things have been so crazy with me lately. I am slowly but surely getting off my anti-depressants which has been very difficult because I haven't wanted to do anything but sleep and I feel soooooooo depressed and just unable to move it is ridiculous. Then this blizzard came and I was even more immobile. I felt confused that maybe I made a mistake with leaving Dave. Then I was cooped up with Rodney for 48 hours straight and you know how that can be. OH man. I couldn't wait for the snow plow men to come so I could GET the fuck out of that apartment. I finally realized what I really need to do.....be SINGLE and with my friends and family in CALI. So I dropped my classes for next semester, I will put in my two weeks at the yard house in a couple weeks......I am going to ask if I can transfer to the YH in Rancho (though very doubtful that they will let me but with a try!) and I of course have to break the news to Rodney. We have talked about it a lot. I know he doesn't want to leave his dad ....but he did say he would come with me if I wanted him to. But I don't. I am not going to do that to him. And besides, I want to be SINGLE AND ALONE for once in my life.The plan is to move in to Gary's house, save up money, and go from there. I can't wait. I wish I could leave RIGHT now.