I like people too much or not at all. in The Wanderer

“I like people too much or not at all. I've got to go down deep, to fall into people, to really know them.”--SP

I suppose this is why I have such a hard time with people these days. Like postcards, I collect people and relationships that truly mean something to me. They are special. Keepsakes. Something I never want to get rid of. A truly special postcard is unique, has a story, and is completely honest. It isn't trying to sell something fake. It's saying, look: I'm here. This is me.

There are only a handful of people I have "collected" throughout the years. People I have held on to, and people that are from all over the country with nothing at all in common, except the fact that I utterly love each and everyone one of them. It is everyone else that I have a problem with. I know I disappoint people a lot with my words and actions. Many are quick to judge me as a bitch, and I completely understand that. I am a bitch. But I am also a lover. Ok, now I sound a bit like Meredith Brooks, but it really is that simple.

Over the years, I have been molded and shaped, and it isn't until recently that I have truly hardened. I am also completely aware of the fact that I am capable of shattering into a million pieces, though I try to stay strong and tell myself that in the end, it doesn't even matter. (Okay! Sorry enough with the song lyrics!) For real though, I've been through some rough times, and now I have all this baggage in my head, and I have an online diary to let it all out and try to make some sort of sense of it all.....just like the rest of you! Please feel free to comment and friend me. That is why I share everything publicly. Connecting with others is amazing when you find the right ones.

Peace and Love, thebelljar