I've never felt the squeeze of trying to make the impossible possible as I do when I have talks with my husband. Ugh he makes me want to SCREAM out of frustration. It's always the same thing. Me talking at him and him zoning off, staring into space, saying "Uhhh..I dunno". "I dunno, I dunno". That is all he frikin says. Last night he finally said something, he says he feels like he has to "report to me". So then I really flipped out. WHY does everything have to be about the fucking military!? I am NOT your commander. I am your fucking wife. There is no "reporting", there is having dinner together, talking about our day, going to bed together. How is that "reporting". All he does is sit around watching the history channel, now we have the military channel too so it is even worse. It's like his whole life revolves around the frikin military. Whenever we talks he has to make references to it. It really brainwashed him and I feel like he doesn't know how to be a civilian.
I have never been so bored in a relationship. Again our discussion last night led to, you do what you want, I'll do what I want. He wants more freedom, so be it. I can definitely use more freedom. I told him that if he wants it this way then there are to be no questioning anything I do and no nagging anymore between us so we both get what we want. And makes life easier for the both of us. He gets what he makes him happy (being by himself, watching TV, working out at the gym, playing golf) and I get what makes me happy: going out, getting drunk with friends. Dancing. Hot guys. And most of all, finding a fucking opportunity to have some fun with you-know-who because I am sick of the sexual tension, sick of the tease, and if my husband wants to give me this free ticket, so be it! If we can't make each other happy, there is no point in sacrificing our happiness being so restricted to what we "can" and "cannot" do.
Here is to living separate, all while living under the same roof! This should be rather interesting.
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