Idle Hands in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

  • Oct. 4, 2016, 8:22 p.m.
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What is there to write about? Another straight guy throwing himself at me, another lost career opportunity, more anchors holding me down. There’s a lot of monotony in my life right now.

The other night, as I crawled out of some kid’s bed and wandered to another guy’s place, I realized I was just stumbling around like a zombie. As I left the second guy’s place, I realized, I don’t want to have sex any longer. I really don’t. It’s boring and is just something I use to occupy my time and distract me from how much I hate everything right now.

I have to come up with something that is not destructive and can help me withstand everything until February. At least the date for my exodus is set and I can prepare. I need ideas, I’m thinking tattoos… it’ll turn my destructive need into art. Or maybe I’ll do lots of drugs… but that isn’t healthy. Besides, drugs aren’t really my thing.

I don’t know what to make of anything right now and I definitely should not be making any decisions… but that’s the problem with adulthood, decisions are ceaseless.

KissOfLife! October 05, 2016

'decisions are ceaseless' - yup!

I love how straight guys throwing themselves at you is monotonous, yet I've never had one throw themselves at me! You must just have the right look/personality for them.

The date for your exodus is in Feb?

~Octopussy~ KissOfLife! ⋅ October 05, 2016

Seriously, I meet this guy and he's like lets go hiking on Tuesday and then the next day he wants me to come over and suck his dick (I was at work and declined) then the next time I see him, he's introducing his girlfriend to me. It's just exhausting.

I can't leave the area for legal reasons until February, then I'm off to LA to get my head together.

~Octopussy~ KissOfLife! ⋅ October 05, 2016

Btw, today was Tuesday and I got no response from him. Ugh

KissOfLife! ~Octopussy~ ⋅ October 05, 2016

Ergh, sorry to hear that.
Wow. It just blows my mind that there doesn't even seem to be a concept infidelity to him. That would be exhausting. She can't be putting out that much.

Fawkes Gal October 14, 2016

I find I tend to retreat into creating when I get in those moods, writing, drawing, etc.

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