Waiting For Magic in 2016

Things seem bumpy.

Today was to be my first day of class. I got to school at 2, thinking my class was at 230, but it started at 2. Whoops. No matter,,the bookstore was a fucking ZOO. At least a hundred people in there. The Japanese books were sold out. That’s what I get for waiting. I checked in with financial aid to find that I can’t get loans without taking 6 or more credits (my class is 5) and that without going full-time I’m not getting any of my measly Pell grant allowance.

I already made a payment for my class out of pocket, which I did not count on, nor paying for the rest and books. I ordered stuff on Amazon and paid 30 bucks for one day shipping that could arrive anywhere between Friday and Monday. I need the books before Monday. Fuck. I felt like giving up, but that’s what I have always done before. Not this time.

Since I’m broke now, I’m trying to Lyft to make the money back, but I’ve only had one 5 dillar ride in an hour. Ugh.

I got two hours of sleep and I don’t think my stomach liked the Stumptown coffee I had in the morning, I’ve been in agony since.

I’ve been obsessively listening to a band called Gunship the last several days. Gimme that 80s synth sound. I highly recommend checking them out, I even bought the album, rare for me these days.

I decided to hit Gracie up once more to see if she wanted to hike sometime(I messaged her on Tinder asking where a scenic mountainy pic of hers was taken). She asked who I was, never a good sign. After I reminded her, she said I was not what she was looking for right now. I figured as much, brutal honesty beats silence. She will forever remain a one night stand it seems.

I texted Courtney after I got home, she cheered me up as always. So flirty too. That old sinking feeling is creeping in, I have to rise above it. Hopefully if I spend my free time Lyft driving and working out this month, I will have the money to go back to wrestling and knock off the weight I put back on last month. What I want seems so far away, but I can overcome the obstacles cropping up. I hate this feeling of being knocked down so easily and just hoping for something good to happen. I just have to keep trying until I make something happen.

I really want to get a couple tattoos but it’ll have to wait until the money makes sense. I think I’ll change up my hair at the end of the month, probably dying it too.

I typed all this without interruption while waiting in a parking spot downtown. Please, transportation gods, deliver me your drunk and unfortunate souls.