When your body is not your own in Life

So I hung in for a long time not really feeling like my body was “taken over” which I think was just due to not getting that big with this pregnancy, I think i gained about 24 pounds since my first ob appt. Which is good because apparently when you’re obese you’re supposed to only gain 15-25, which at times I thought there was no way I could pull off. But I stayed really active with the gestational diabetes and ate better than I wanted to (but not that great honestly, I was able to maintain my sugars and still drink soda and stuff at times). But a few weeks ago my belly got big enough to become alien to me. It just is so weird that it comes out of nowhere and when the baby dropped down a little last week it looked even weirder! I don’t have stretch marks and this baby is prob pretty big so I’m expecting to be able to bounce back (hopefully) but it’s a weird place to be in to feel like your body is not your own. And I’m planning to breastfeed so I know I’ll feel even more like I’m just being used for some other purpose and it’s not my body anymore haha.

I will say, topping 200 was something I thought would really bother me, but my body issues have pretty much gone away during this time and many times, I was telling Chris how I just wanted my belly to grow and look more pregnant! So that was a nice change and I hope I don’t immediately revert back to feeling fat again.

I had my last NST and amniotic fluid check this morning and thought I was going to end up at the hospital because my fluid was like half of last week. They said his bladder was full and they expected that the levels would go back up once he peed it out, so they let me go. I was still normal range and not low, but the nurse was concerned. MFM doc was not. I have my regular ob appt (last one again) at 2 so we’ll see what they say but I’m hoping maybe this is just a sign of things preparing and maybe my friday induction won’t be two days long!

Things I’ve been checking off:

-last touches on the nursery- all ready!

-cleaning up the dining room table and kitchen counter from clutter (mostly done, another load of dishes to do tonight

-last load of non baby laundry (most of his is gone just a few new things to wash)

-grading for my class (still have a few assignments to grade tonight hopefully)

And my last thing is … hanging up all the clean clothes strewn about our bedroom and the laundry room. This is my least favorite job and it’s really hard for me to stay on top of it, but since everything else is mostly good, shouldn’t be too bad. Chris mowed the lawn for the last time this morning too. And got his new shelves up, because we made a last minute run to IKEA on monday which is like 1.5 hours away and i was pretty proud of myself for still being able to do that. I’m at work today even, but I think this will be my only day at work this week because I had to come up for dr appts anyway. I could use a low key day at home tomorrow to finish stuff… I’m just stressing about the house not being perfect and it would just make me feel better to be home working on the remaining tasks!

I also had a slightly elevated protein in my urine the past two appts. First one it was trace, and I talked to the doc after that and she wasn’t worried because my bp has been “Stellar” as she said. (yay) So she sent it out for a urine culture. Then I got back the one from that day after we talked, and it was more protein, but she didn’t call so I guess still not concerned. And then I had “urogenital flora” at a certain number. She didn’t call, and I looked it up and basically at that level it could just be contamination and isn’t enough to call it an infection. Hoping it’s okay today, just because I don’t need to add antibiotics to an already stressful time!

About 2 days and a few hours and I’ll be in the hospital :-0