NJM 9 - Sins in Each Day

How guilty are you of each of the seven deadly sins (pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth)?

pride - I am proud of myself (while simultaneously thinking I’m The Worst, yaay trauma!). And at times that pride has prevented me from acting in certain ways (I’m thinking about when I was unemployed and instead of applying for service jobs I held out for something in my field, which put stress on my marriage), I think that is the exception, not the rule. I think a lot more about other people than I do myself, sometimes to my own detriment.

greed - I definitely have a greedy streak. But it is also a demon that I fight. Some times it wins, some times it loses.

lust - 100% guilty. I would sleep with, like, 80% of the people who’s company I enjoy. I am hypersexual (another ND trait, whee), I have a dirty mind and I like to flirt.

envy - Not my thing. When I see someone who has what I want for myself, while I acknowledge that want, it doesn’t make me feel bad. When I was in university, a friend and I went up for the same internship. I didn’t tell a soul that I’d applied, but when I found out my friend did, I immediately thought, “welp… that’s over now”. I knew in my soul that she was going to get it.
And she did.
And sure I was disappointed for myself, obviously, but I was so excited that she got to take on this adventure herself. Why would I feel bad that she gets to do something awesome? This just wasn’t my awesome to be had.

gluttony - So chewing is a stim, as it turns out, and antidepressants can have an appetite suppressing effect. So these days I’m a reformed glutton.

wrath - like lust, this is my jam. I don’t want it to be, but anger, fury, rage are so easily accessible to me. I hold a grudge like a motherfucker.

sloth - exercise and I have a complicated relationship. But knowing what goes on in my head regarding exercise, I give myself a pass on this one. It’s not as simple as “just get off your ass” for someone with internal motivation issues.

A million years ago, when my friend The Muppet and I were just of legal age to do so, we spent a day checking off all of the deadly sins, going to a sex shop, buying a lottery ticket, ordering too much food at a restaurant (that of course we couldn’t finish, so took home instead), and other things that I’ve since forgotten… we still talk about how great that day was.

Sins are only bad if you believe they are. Sure, there’s moral value to some of them, but (for once) I don’t think it’s that black and white.