Anti Social in just testing

Felt anti social today. Had to fake like I was laughing along with the jokes but I basically stayed at my desk and got work done. I don't spend a lot of time goofing off on a normal work day but I work with 3 other ladies and one very goofy guy so there's lots of silly convo's and stuff that go on during the day that I usually love being a part of - I just wanted to be alone today.

It's because a bunch of teachers, who I also love, were reviewed today by my boss - the director of the school.

I've always thought her to be a gentle, kind person. And I'm not saying I don't still feel that way but I hear talk - more and more - about her being snobby and talking down to people and being uncaring about situations, etc.

I guess the director of a school walks a fine line between doing favors to keep the teachers happy, but putting her foot down when those teachers are taking advantage by coming in late, trying to leave early, not wearing their uniform, etc.

I thought she was fair but I'm hearing [even from the associate director, who is her right hand] that she can be snobby and uncaring.

Well after reviews yesterday a lot of teachers came in this morning SO pissed off. Talking about looking for other jobs. Talking about not even wanting to LOOK or TALK to the director or the associate director because the teacher's felt ganged up on and torn apart in their reviews.

Which is such a different view I have of the same person.

So it made me feel weird - knowing that so many people were FUMING about her - and I know they were talking amongst themselves about her ALL DAY and it makes me uneasy.

Maybe cause I don't know the truth.

Maybe cause it's in my nature to want to fix relationships and show both sides of a coin and have people understand eachother - which is not my place to do here.

It worries me that someone I trust - I do consider her a friend - could be as bad as others say.

Esp cause my own review is coming up mid July and I was never nervous about it until now. I think I'm doing a good job - am I gonna go in for my review and be torn apart and hate her like everyone else.

But I also am not someone to judge others on rumors. She's been 95% nice to me. There was only 1 or 2 incidents where she had to talk to me about things that I maybe felt were .. unfair... but I mean, who knows - no one likes to be criticized. She's never yelled at me.

There are so many different personalities in a school with like 30 teachers and it's easy to gang against the boss.

It just troubles me and I almost didn't want to talk to her - or anyone in the office - cause I didn't want that issue to come up and have to talk about it.

There's a lot of petty issues in that school - not having to do with me - but I hear a lot of it and there's always SOMEONE unhappy and it's exhausting cause lots of people vent to me and it's not appropriate to talk to the director about - and the times I do try to keep her ahead of the rumors so she can address them she takes it as gossiping. Which I understand - she prefers issues come directly to her - not through me - so if they don't come to her, the issues doesn't exist.

But the issue is also that they don't feel comfortable coming to her because they feel she talking down to them or doesn't listen or doesn't empathize, etc. And she doesn't seem to care - but on the other hand you can't care too much about who you don't please cause in a school of 30 women, you can't please everyone and some will never be satisfied anyway - you know?

Exhausting.

I got a good chunk of work done - which I really needed with the end of the year right upon us - end of the school year anyway.