doesn't matter in random rantings of self pity

I figured out why it's just so easy to not care what people think about me. It's because nobody really cares about me anyway. I don't think most people know my name let alone care about me at all. That makes it so much easier. I only write at night and it makes me wonder how different my entries would be if I wrote at different times of the day. I feel like life is improving. I just hope it's going to stay this way. I just don't know. It could, but of coarse, it could also go the other way and get bad all over again. I really don't care about what anybody thinks. It is such a burden off my shoulders to think like that. I honestly forgot what that was like. I think I forgot most of what it's like to be a generally happy person. Like I remember a few things, but definitely not all of it. I found myself looking forward to the future. I never look forward to the future. That's just crazy. So, I sure hope these feelings and attitudes stick around for a while. It makes life less stressful and makes me not want to just die instead.