aug 6 in idea barrages

  • Aug. 5, 2021, 8:31 p.m.
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  • Public

  1. Ollie is relaxing on a cool spot of the hardwood and I sing to him “LET THE DOGGIE SIT THE FLOOR, LET THE DOGGIE SIT THE FLOOR, LET THE DOGGIE SIT THE FLOOR”.

  2. No, IDEAS have meaning. Words are merely paltry tools we try to use to get ideas across the gaping chasm of individual consciousness between us. Words can change! Words mean different things in different contexts. If they do the work, cherish ‘em. If they don’t, throw ‘em away!

  3. Why call it a York Peppermint Patty when we can call it a Senior Mint?

  4. The Grimace distributes its higher nerve functions throughout its arms, that’s why he was once four-armed and evil. The Clown lobotomized him into his idiot buddy. That’s why the Hamburglar can barely speak. McDonaldland is founded upon a barbaric policy of criminal lobotomies.

  5. I mean, I’m sure that in the 500,000 low-budget direct-to-cut-out-bin sequels to AMERICAN PIE, they finally sent them back to band camp but if they didn’t call it AMERICAN PIE: FORBIDDEN FLUTE they screwed up so much that they need to be jailed.

  6. Sonic, having finally gone too fast, slammed into the wall and was little now but hasty pudding.

  7. Normalize the orphanage by calling it “the stork exchange”.

  8. Since every lawyer who advertises on television is nicknamed “THE HAMMER” what if you’re a lawyer whose birth surname is legitimately Hammer? Are you just, like, Bob “THE LAWYER” Hammer?

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