I'm Not Crazy in Just A Day In The Life

Jackson admitted everything to me yesterday.

He took my money for fronting a drug deal, cheated on me, lied to me about his employment, and many other things. He told me he would pay me back on Saturday and strangely I might believe him… I’m just glad I can be done pretending. There’s still a chance I will get my money back but even if I don’t I’m glad I don’t have to pretend.

I am still blown away that he even did this to me in the first place… He tried to turn the tables on me by saying that me going through his phone was the true end to our relationship (Ridiculous) which couldn’t be further from the truth because I would say it’s more the fact that he was seeing someone else, lying, and stealing. I am so glad that I have a strong mind that allows me to not let this man manipulate my emotions into thinking ANY part of this is my fault.

One of the most mind-blowing things about this is that I wasn’t even looking in his phone to see if he was cheating. I was innocently getting emergency contacts just in case something happened. He had almost nobody’s numbers saved and so I only took the number because it was saved as his barber. So innocently done in fact, that I didn’t even realize what was going on for a whole week until I went to go save the numbers and actually looked at what the texts said that I realized what was going on. It makes me feel better to know that I was almost completely innocent. The only thing I did was look for contacts without his permission.

Thank god I have a good support system because I am going to need it to recover from this mess. I feel beaten down, I’m not even angry anymore just completely and utterly… Shattered. All of my pieces sprawled across the ground and I don’t have the will to gather them up and start piecing them back together. I just kind of want to let them sit there awhile.

Like I said in a previous post I have heard this song in many renditions. This rendition is the most elaborate I have ever heard but still following the same tune. Sadly, I know this song all too well.