My new anthem is “I will survive” by Gloria Gaynor.
That song brings me so much strength. gotta love the power of music!
As much strength as that song brings me I still feel like I’ve been broken into a thousand pieces that are scattered all over the floor. My room is a mess and I can’t bring myself to clean it… I haven’t been able to eat much either, which I know is unhealthy but I physically get sick if I force myself to eat. Not eating makes me tired and I am already tired from being depressed. I am living in a vicious unproductive cycle and I can’t really help it. Some days are better than others but most aren’t good.
I cry in the shower most nights.
The worst part is that I miss him and I hate that I miss this person who lied, cheated, and still hasn’t returned my money. I hate that I still love him.
I am still mourning the future I thought we were going to live together. I know in time I will be able to pick myself back up and continue on but for right now I am struggling and I will probably struggle for a while. Not to be too dramatic but I really do understand how Bella acted when Edward left her… I don’t enjoy the majority of music anymore, I can’t eat, sleeping is a literal nightmare, I force myself to dance but it doesn’t feel the same.
I will survive.
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