You guys, I’m screwed. I really fucking like this guy. I wasn’t ready to feel so strongly about anyone, especially this quickly.
I decided to take a small leap of faith with Jackson. He has some bad habits that he has developed from being a single man who spends a lot of time with his friends. For example, alcohol and weed use a little too often for my liking and not eating as healthy as he should. Those are things he has time to change. You are who you are around and I am very influential. Not that I want to change HIM but I think I could be a good influence.
We had a very honest conversation where he asked me what was making me hold back. I told him that if I am to be in a serious relationship it means that I can see them being the father to my children one day and that I REFUSE to have my children grow up without a present and responsible father the way I had to. So if he wants me seriously then he has to show me that he can be a man that I can trust to father my children.
And that’s just the simple truth. The ROOT of my decision making when it comes to men.
He saw where I was coming from and agreed.
We will see if he hold up his end of the deal… If not I have no issue breaking things off, no matter how painful. My children will not have a deadbeat dad. I may be young but I know what I want out of life. I am cutthroat when it comes to my future. I get ONE life and I am not wasting it on people standing in the way of what I want my life to look like. I hope he is capable of growing with me.
I am excited to see how things go! hopefully, he doesn’t break my heart… But if he does, I am resilient.