When to quit? in New reality

I dont know what to do anymore. Do I keep trying do I give up? My wife is seemingly never happy. Im trying so hard to be what she wants me to be. What I need to be I guess.. but like is that really who I need to be? I’m a stay at home mom now.. its always been a dream of mine. To take care of my kids and be with them all of the time. Sometimes its great. I get housework done homeschool 3/4 the of the children and keep the tiny one alive. I have an extra kid these days and boy is she a handful. But its money. So like things are behind. I was so excited to get shit done today but my wife decided it was lay in bed naked day.. I wasnt going to complain. Everything was great we laughed we cuddled.. then our son decided to hit me she slapped him he cried held his breath(he does this all the time scary shit) she scooped him up away from me and just held him and looked at him while he wasn’t breathing. I panicked he breathed I calmed down. She yelled at me because how dare I panic shes not an idiot she had him he was fine. I run to get a binky to calm him. He starts pushing away from her and crying for me. I come back and she yells “fine go get her shes the only one you ever want” my son ran to me still screaming and clung to me. She said i was spoiling him so much he didn’t want her. Shes always so angry about him wanting me. Is that a bad thing though? Should I feel bad that my son loves me? Is he really spoiled because he knows I love him and im safe? Anyway. She got mad and I told her to stop yelling at him and reminded her that wasn’t going to change the situation. She calmed down. Long story short we went through a couple rounds of that. Blow up all good repeat. She finally went off and left the room after I folded a pair of jeans and put them in a pile for storage. She was mad im not making our 6 year old try on every single article of clothing before putting it into storage. I told her it wasn’t necessary and that set her off about how everything has to be my way or nothing and trailed off as she went to our room and slammed the door. Talking loudly as if to invite me into an argument. I didn’t even bother. Im so tired of fighting. Im so tired of not feeling good enough. But am I in the wrong? Am I ruining my son.. our son.. or is she really as awful as everyone says she is? I really don’t want to go through a divorce and custody battle.. but im so tired of being miserable.. but when do I make the call?