Should i stay or should i go in New reality

Im going to start documenting things that my wife says and does. Maybe im just reading into things and maybe im being overly sensitive. There were two events recently but I cant remember every detail. I just feel like I need to write it out and be rid of it. Andnforgive me if. Ive said this before my stm isn’t the best. She wanted to talk about money. We always fight when we talk about money. I didn’t want to fight. My therapist told me to set boundaries and stick to them. I told her very plainly I dont want to have this conversation right now my headspace can’t handle it. She insisted I speak to her or I leave. I again said I wasn’t going to talk about it and I wasn’t leaving. This went on for a solid 3 minutes it felt. like hours each time she got louder. I yelled to match her tone, I also continued to work on my.crochet projects to keep from losing my composure.. she screamed at me to stop i said no and she ran at me tearing my crochet project out of my hands. One of the strings was wrapped around my finger. It turned purple and swelled up. My pain scream woke our children.. they came down just in time to see her lunge at me and grab my arms and scream in my face. Her forehead was touching mine. I cant remember what she was yelling I just kept telling myself to be still and quiet and she won’t hit you. I dont think I’ve ever been that afraid of another person that wasn’t my step-dad. The kids screamed and she barked at them to go upstairs. I willed them to go to not witness this nastiness. They refused. They ran to me. I wanted to tell them I was ok but all I could do was sobb uncontrollably. They inspected my finger and asked what happened.. I said nothing. She ushered them upstairs and I fell apart. Full blown panic attack. She tried to touch me andni screamed. She got my panic meds. Gave me two.. everything went blank. I couldn’t do anything really. She carried me to bed gathered her things and slept on the couch. We didn’t share a bed for a week. She acted sorry for a few more weeks. Being living and apologizing a lot. It was annoying. I went to stay with a family member to think about things. I missed her. I thought it meant I wanted to stay to make things work. So I went home. Im not happy with that choice most of the time. Shes right back to making me feel like shit when I dont get the house clean and being rude when the kids were all home. I dont even remember why we argued even but she told.me to leave. I told her what my therapist said to say to her when she says thats. “If you feel like you need to be away from me then you need to leave” she lost it. Called me lazy said I didn’t work so I should leave since its her money that pays the bills. And I had to get out of my room because I was distracting her. I told he ri would finish my show and gather my things that wasn’t good enough. I was nothing but a pot smoking piece of shit. A bitch. Lazy. And then she told.me.to “wash my nasty body and go to my.moms house.” I just cried. Like an hour later she tells me she didn’t mean it and said I wasn’t nasty I was just stinky.. ok so my armpits aren’t shaved and I forget deodorant sometimes fuck you ya know. But now I have no desire to touch her or be touched by her. I dont want to have sex I dont even want to share a bed I have a therapy appointment coming up and I also have a vacation planned. I really hope vacation goes well. Shes already shown that she doesn’t care who she disrespect me in front of and I dont want our friends to have a bad time..