NJM 2020, Entry 15 - Sunday Scaries in These Foolish Things

  • Nov. 15, 2020, 7:56 p.m.
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I don’t really have the Sunday Scaries, but maybe I should? So much I need to accomplish this week before everyone starts skipping town and heading for their respective Thanksgiving Corona-fests.

Not much to report today. Took another nice walk in the new hood (manifesting!) and then headed straight to mom and dad’s while still in my “walking” clothes which consisted of yoga pants, sneaks and a cashmere sweater. It was a little on the chilly side.

Oh! Lunch yesterday was really nice. The weather was outstanding and the venue was nearly vacant so my two friends and I (and Martini) had the whole place to ourselves. I ate a beautiful spinach salad with grilled chix and drank two skinny margs and we had some good talks.

I was sad to hear of my friend, we’ll call her Suzanne, feeling very disappointed by her husband. It’s interesting to see all of the cute photos on Instagram and then hearing about what was really happening on her amazing-looking trip to Mexico for her birthday - which happened to coincide with one of those many hurricanes that have happened in 2020. They even ended the trip early, which surprised me (nothing to do with the weather and more about technical issues and more disappointment). She says her husband is depressed so he can’t seem to get shit done and spends a shocking amount of time playing video games.

On my Zoom call with my college girlfriends last night, another friend of mine tells me that a beloved neighborhood couple who are their besties are likely headed for divorce and I keep thinking about how I’m so sad to not have a Covid-buddy, but then I imagine how many marriages and partnerships are breaking up during this time. I suppose if you’ve had a superficial marriage or partnership that was on shaky ground to begin with, this time could be disastrous.

And then! I got a text last night from SexyPants! Whaaaat?

He told me he was at [funky nearby hotel] and was thinking about me and hoping I was doing well. On the one hand I was surprised to hear from him, but on the other hand I really wasn’t. I’m not saying this to be egotistical, but I’d seen that he’d looked at my LinkedIn profile a couple of weeks ago so I knew that he’d been thinking about me.

I did answer back, asking why he was at [funky hotel] and he told me that it was for his nephew’s bachelor party (the wedding is on New Year’s Eve and he is the Best Man). I was actually surprised that they were having a bachelor party this weekend. You know, with the Rona surging and all that, and that’s pretty much what I said when I answered back.

He then apologized, saying that he probably shouldn’t have reached out, but he thanked me for responding and told me he hoped I was doing well.

I didn’t answer that one. Just left it hanging in the air.

Something is wrong with that dude. I’m not saying that I haven’t thought about him over the last year or so, but why has he been thinking about me? He was the one who told me that he was going back to his most recent ex-girlfriend to try to work it out with her and that’s why he couldn’t have contact with me anymore. That man will never change. I wonder if he’s breaking up with her again?

Just imagine: all of these breakups and divorces coming out of quarantine is going to make the dating pool interesting, isn’t it? All of these fucked-up dudes just getting out of their marriages and partnerships and getting back into the dating pool…

It’s gonna be a bumpy ride, isn’t it?

But on the opposite end of the spectrum, surely there are some great guys who finally figured out that they are not in the right relationship and have worked on themselves through all of this and made their way out alive…

Right? Anyone??


Athena November 15, 2020 (edited November 15, 2020)


He’s thinking about you because he needs constant female attention and knows he can get a hit of dopamine if he texts you.

Elaine Benes Athena ⋅ November 15, 2020

Yep. He’s bad news.

Ginger Snap Elaine Benes ⋅ November 16, 2020

Truly. I just feel sorry for him now. And sad about all of the energy I spent on him.

girl in recession November 15, 2020 (edited November 15, 2020)


It'll probably be a lot of pretty financially secure bachelors finally free of a relationship they should have been free of 5-10 years ago wanting to play the field & not settle down, at least that's how Id feel if I just got out of a marriage lol.... and then a bunch of guys who were solo thru covid rearing to jump into a serious relationship! hah. That should be a question on all dating apps now "were you solo during covid"

Bf and I have had our ups and downs over the last 8 years, but nothing catastrophic. Covid hasn't tested our relationship at all but we've gone thru periods of spending 24/7 together in the past. We both long for a vacation independent of the other person. I CANT WAIT until he can travel to CA and go on a fishing trip with his friends. Or until I can take a road trip up the east coast to see mine, solo. But that's more a complaint about covid than our relationship.

Ginger Snap girl in recession ⋅ November 16, 2020

Yeah, I agree about the complaints about Covid too. Covid really did this to us and it seems to have amplified everything. If we can all hold on until this vaccine, I think we will make it through.

girl in recession Ginger Snap ⋅ November 16, 2020

I agree! I am holding on for dear life!!

WhatDreamsMayCome November 16, 2020


Parliament November 16, 2020

If there's anything I hope you garner from your friends' updates, it's that the title of "boyfriend" or a marriage certificate don't mean your troubles and sadness are behind you. In a lot of ways, the work is just beginning and you'll be trading one set of heartbreaks for another.

Ginger Snap Parliament ⋅ November 16, 2020

I know. I actually think I might just be doing okay, ya know?

Jinn November 17, 2020

I can tell you that it’s very stressful to be shut up with your mate 24/7 ; especially when you are opposites. We have days when we “ snark” at each other all day long. :-) . It’s easy to get angry first thing in the morning and keep going. :-( . However our isolation guidelines are so strict now ( we are not supposed to meet up with friends of family at all ) that if I was alone , I would feel too lonely I think . Sometimes I would like to try it :-)

plushcreep November 18, 2020

I'm in no position to comment because I still adore my wife, lol.

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