This MotherFucker!! in My life....I can't make this shit up!

Yesterday I got a text from the ex inquiring if I had someone wanting to adopt Cameron. I had several thoughts at this point including: “Why the fuck do you want to know? It’s none of your fucking business. after 12 years you suddenly need to know what’s going on with him!?” So I text him back saying it’s an option on the table down the road. His reply is that he can’t get out of paying child support if I don’t have someone adopt him. I end up talking to this MotherFucker for the first time in 12 years because now he says he “can’t trust (I) won’t get (him) out of child support for six more years.” He then tries putting me on blast for how I acted throughout our marriage. I reminded him what HE did through our marriage AND to OUR son! Which he continues to deny. I have all the evidence showing he did it. Anyway....we were on the phone for 15 minutes with him basically saying he doesn’t want to pay child support and he would be willing to pay for the divorce and the adoption if I have Cameron adopted right away. In Florida, in order for Brian to adopt Cameron we have to be married. I’m not running into getting married about because HE doesn’t want to pay child support. I’m not letting this motherfucker dictate my life.
Anyway....the phone Call ended with him telling me he would “think about it.” I told him to just text me tomorrow.
I was so pissed all evening. I still am. Then I get pissed at myself for allowing him the power to control my emotions like that. I mean, during the conversation I held it together pretty well talking to him like one of my client’s complaining about my staff not doing enough work for them. But when I hung up the phone....I was HOT!!!
After Brian got home last night we talked about it, and he reminded me that even if This MotherFucker does contest the divorce, it’s still going to happen, it’s just going to take longer. If he contests that means he has to pay to come to Florida from Texas, pay for transportation, lodging, and food. He also needs to be present in court. So, that helped me feel a little bit better. Every time I find myself thinking about the situation and getting frustrated I remind myself that he would have to come out here and he probably would not be willing to do that.
Unfortunately the damage had already been done last night and the nightmare returned. It’s the same nightmare in different variations, but it boils down to us meeting in person, getting into an argument and him shooting me. I always wake up either right before or right after I get shot. It feels so real too, that’s the worst part.
I have been up since 1ish this morning because of that nightmare. I went to get breakfast and a Chai Tea this morning, the lady behind the counter says “You look like you need a shot of espresso in there.” I guess I look as bad as I feel....

I have most of my stuff done at work today and I’m waiting for my boss to finished the project she’s working on so we can get documentation for my certification done. I am so ready for this weekend!