Steps in First entry

Today I was at work and I received notification our joint account’s address was changed. That made me realize I need to get my own checking, savings and credit card. I told her I had to take the money out of our savings to open the accounts. I’m not moving any other money, but if she drains it, the credit card will allow me to have time to change my direct deposits and get my feet under me. She said that everything was happening so quickly. I told her I didn’t want to do it. I don’t want to do any of it. I want to remain a family, but I realize that’s not my call. So now I have to take steps and place my children and myself first. She won’t allow me to make her a priority. She keeps saying she’s going to get fired because she can’t get her work done. The reality is she has told me she is staying away from the children. The reality is she is shacking up with her boyfriend. She was talking to my sister and my sister asked if they had sex and she said yes. I’m not surprised, but it’s still disappointing. As crazy as it sounds, I’m still willing to work through it.
This guys is bad news bears. I’m sure you guys are thinking I’m just being salty, but I’ve done my research. He was arrested in 2000 for aggravated assault and trafficking stolen property. Multiple infractions in while doing this sentence. Got out in 2007ish maybe later. That’s when she had her first affair. 2015 he was charged with drug use and possession, distribution, and possession of a firearm by a prohibited possessor. He just got out of prison last November. He then got an aggravated assault charge in March of 2020. I brought it up to her. She said he punched a guy in the face at Walmart. Followed by sometimes you just have to punch a guy in the face. Ignoring the stupidity of the latter comment, there’s a significant difference between assault and aggravated assailant. I’ve told her I don’t want him around my children. She told me that wasn’t my choice and there’s nothing I can do about that. Who is this woman?? I’ve never met her. It’s completely not like her. Watching my kids miss their mom isn’t easy. I just try to stay positive, point them, back to God and focus on the three of us. I tell them their mom loves them so much, but right now she is dealing with a lot and needs time to sort through it. I use the loss of her father to give them example. The reality is she is shacking up with her boyfriend. Again COMPLETELY not like my wife! The woman I know will forsake the entire world for her children. I really hope she can see through all of this.